Sugarbush and Foxy Brown

I've had a great weekend. My workshop on Friday went off without a hitch and I was able to come home Friday night instead of Saturday morning. Hubby and I had a quiet tv night. On Saturday morning we picked up my Monkey and my friend's little boy and took them out to Kings Landing for the Sugarbush. Another friend and her son went with us and we had a great time. Fresh air, maple candy right from the tree, sliding, mud puddles and music make for a perfect outing for little boys.

I'd like you to meet Foxy!

Foxy was seized from a very bad home and has been in fostercare with Lil' Sis. (She calls him Herbie.) I think he is beautiful. He is a 3 yr old Pomeranian and weighs all of 6 lbs. Even Purl out weighs him! Sis has gone on an overnight excursion to Maine and Hubby and I have taken Foxy for a sleepover to see how he gets along with the cats. So far it is MUCH better than we expected. He is so timid the cats are not afraid of him.

He has been very good. He has spent most of the time curled up with me or following me around like a shadow. He has not made any noise other than some wimpering this morning which was resolved by bringing him to the bedroom. This afternoon he and Athena were both curled up in the chair. He still needs some time to be housebroken but Sis is going to get him litter trained. so we don't even have to worry about getting home on time or getting up at 5 am. Hubby is sold and now we have to convince the landlord that he really is just another cat.

Hello again

I finally got a few minutes to myself on Easter Sunday to catch up. When I last wrote Hubby was waiting for surgery again. They did not end up doing the surgery in January. When he got to SJ they did all of the tests, got him prepped for surgery and just minutes before they began the surgeon decided to run the diagnostics again. He thought that it may just be a matter of time before the lead settled into place and decided not to do the surgery.

A few weeks later with a change is meds Hubby is feeling much better and is back to work (promoted even!). Unfortunately, the wire did not settle into place and we are once again waiting for surgery. They are consulting with other surgeons to see if they should proceed. At least this time he will not have to be in hospital waiting.

In the meantime, I have been working my butt off to get all of my work projects wrapped up by March 31st. Once the projects are done I have to pack up my office for a move to the 4th floor. This is a pain in the neck but good news. It means I will be able to open my curtains and enjoy the sunshine. Being on the ground floor, I had a view of the loading bay and lots or delivery guys staring in. I kept my curtains closed so I didn’t always feel like I was in the zoo.

In the crafty end of things my last project turned out great! My friends Wordnerd and MD just had a beautiful baby boy and I made a pillow for the nursery. The new Papa produces his own comics including one that features their very handsome beagle, Genghis. I took one of his drawings and turned it into a knitting pattern for the pillow. The back is a very soft plush. It was a hit! You can a few shots of the pillow in a fantastic short video Papa MD made of baby’s trip home. (Love, love, love the video.) I am so glad they are finally all home safe and sound. I also got signed up for Ravelry. I think it will be great when I have more time to play around with it. If you are on you can look me up as TheCraftyCanadian.

I’m looking forward to catching up more with everyone when March is over.
C.C.

Happy Holidays from Crafty Canadian and her Bionic Boy

Well another month has flown by. I can't believe it, while my concerns about being childless at Christmas were all I could think about last month, this month brought a whole new category of drama and I have hardly had time to think about anything.

Two weeks ago at 4:00 am I woke Hubby up because I had a dream that he had died suddenly of complications from his heart condition. I was crying when I woke up and the dream was so real his snoring in the bed beside me actually startled me. I woke him up in the dead of night to tell him I was glad he wasn't dead. He mumbled something about also being glad he was not dead and drifted back to sleep.

In the morning I got up and went to the market, got my hair done and went shopping for something fabulous to wear to Hubby's work party. I told my friend about my dream and she assured me that it meant good things for the person I had dreamt of. When I told her how upset I was the night before we joked that it was probably a good thing that after so long I still wanted him around. When I got home Hubby was making himself a light lunch and after we relaxed on the couch and watched TV. I told him again that I was glad he was still alive. Twenty minutes later we were rushing to the hospital.

Hubby has had heart problems since he was 12 and 5 years ago we went to Toronto for open heart surgery to remove an overgrown muscle blocking 85% of the blood flow. His heart function was immediately improved and after a lengthy recovery he was better than ever. After 16 years he was off all heart medication and feeling great.

Two weeks ago things changed suddenly. Hubby was saying something was wrong with his heart and was beginning to panic. We were very use to being in and out of hospital and so I quickly got him dressed, put him in the car and drove to the emergency. Fortunately we live only 8 minutes away, when we arrived I parked the car outside the ER doors and helped him inside the doors where we got help immediately. I handed him off to the nurses, told them he had hypertrophic cardiomyopathy and went to move the car. When I came back there were 8 nurses and doctors hovered over him and his pulse was 273. It was beating erratically and racing out of control.

After a couple of hours, I called my parents and they came to the hospital and waited outside the ICU. It took all night and a lot of medication to finally get it within a normal range. At one point they prepared to shock his heart with the defibrillator to reset the rhythm, fortunately they did not have to resort to that. Although I was very worried, I was incredibly calm. I was in "The Zone", there was a lot going on, a lot of new information to take in and I knew I had to be calm and clear.

After a couple of days in Cardiac Care they were able to get his heart rate under control with the medication but the test result were very negative. There were half a dozen serious problems with the heart that had developed as a result of his condition. Any one of them would have been cause for concern. They said it was fortunate that his heart had given him a warning and not simply shut down. They told us he would eventually need a heart transplant but they were going to see what they could do in the meantime. We waited in hospital a few more days until they could get us to a hospital with a cardiac care centre.

He arrived at the new hospital by ambulance last Tuesday afternoon and within a few hours they told him they were going to be taking him at 7:30 am for surgery. The next morning they implanted a defibrillator inside his chest to reset the heart if the rhythm got out of control or to restart heart if it stopped beating. Unlike a pacemaker that delivers a slight and constant message to the heart, this one packs more of a punch and only kicks in when the heart is in crisis.

Fortunately he came through with flying colours. The surgery went very well, they tested the device to ensure that it was working properly and by Thursday afternoon he was ready to come home. He will have a long recovery with 6wks to 6 months of no driving and 4-6 weeks of not lifting his hands above his shoulders.

He is now referring to himself as the $30,000 man although because we live in Canada the total cost to us for the device plus surger, hospital stay, ambulance etc. was $0.00. His work even covered my hotel stay and most of my meals. My biggest expenses were gas and parking.

We are so happy to be home for Christmas. We didn't think it would be possible and while being home has a whole other set of challenges (I'm exhausted already) it is great to be home and with family for Christmas. We will have a low key celebration this year. I am going to miss having a tree and having decorations but it is just too much work with everything else to be done.

So far I've been doing great at keeping it together, through all the bad news and surgery I have been calm and together, with just a few minor cracks. I was like this when he had his operation five years ago and I know it is just a matter of time before I fall to pieces but it will not likely be until he has been given the all clear by his docs. If he has to go through this every 5 years to replace the device we may get very good at adapting to it all. He has always had heart problems but they were more gradual and progressive, the complications are now far greater and more imminent than they were before.

We are very thankful for our wonderful friends and family who have been so supportive. They have offered help in every way since he first landed in the hospital. Last night someone dropped off a curry chicken which was fantastic because it means I did not have to cook. While we have not had a lot of visitors because everyone is gone for the holidays, we have had lots of emails and calls from our friends and family. We are so lucky to have them all!

To all my online pals, Happy Holidays and best wishes for a happy and healthy 2008!

October in a nutshell

Where did October go?

Wow, I can’t believe how long it has been since I have updated my blog. There has been a lot going on and I just can’t believe that it is already November. The missing month has had some ups and some downs and I will try to catch you up as quickly as possible. The key word for October has been BUSY!

Let’s get the bad stuff right out of the way.

Halloween kicked off what is sadly become a string of funerals. Last week began with the loss of my Great Uncle, the funeral was on Wednesday. Thursday, a group of girls traveled out of town to support a friend at her grandmother’s funeral, and Friday my cousin’s partner committed suicide leaving her a single mother to their young son. I also found out my grandmother is not well and will not strong enough to undergo the surgery required to save her life. While, she is technically my “ex-step-grandmother” she has been a grandparent to me since I was 8 years old. She lives with my “ex-stepmother” and my little brother and the coming months will be very hard on all of them.

I think part of the reason I have been avoiding updating my blog is that I was really hoping to have some good news. I must start by saying I am feeling much more like myself now that all of the fertility drugs are out of my system. I am not so easily upset and feel sane again. Although I think Christmas will still be a challenge, I am beginning to accept that life will go on with out a pregnancy.

This acceptance was spurred on by the fact that Hubby and I were approached about a private adoption. We kept our fingers crossed; our lips sealed and tried not to get our hopes up too much. Sadly, in taking the time to weigh their options the family let things get too and the girl is now in protective custody. Private adoption is no longer an option and an inter-provincial adoption would be complicated and too lengthy to be in the girl’s best interest. While we completely understand how and why things worked out the way they have, Hubby and I can’t help but be disappointed, both for the girl and for ourselves.

So eventually it will be back to the drawing board to consider the rest of our options, in the meantime November does not show any signs of slowing down and we will likely be full-tilt until the New Year.

Work has been very hectic and I am currently writing three publications which have to be printed by January, including the rewrite of a 100 page book. So far things are chugging along but I have not had a spare moment. I have also been preparing for workshops on reporting forms for charities – thrilling stuff. My first workshop was on Friday and you know it is bad when you nearly put yourself to sleep.

I have been practicing many of my unmarketable skills in the last month. I did a wedding cake for a fall wedding. I don’t often do cakes for people I don’t know but I was asked by my cousin and despite my concerns, the bride and groom were both thrilled with the way it turned out. I wish I had better pictures but these should give you a general idea.

I have also been at my sewing machine working on a beautiful prom dress. Next weekend is our annual “prom” weekend. Friends host a yearly theme party and this year it is a 50’s Prom in Halifax. While I would not usually go to such great lengths for a theme party, I was able to get a great deal on the fabric and pattern when a fabric store went out of business and I think the dress could easily be used again on New Year’s or some other event. I will post pictures when I finish mine later this week but here is the pattern:

Thanksgiving gave me the opportunity to make one of my favourite cakes – Princeton Orange Cake. We had a large family gathering with 15 for dinner. Later that week Monkey and I made apple crisp with apples we picked ourselves. We had a great time picking apples again and the Cortlands were finally ready! My sis has discovered that if you make a chunky applesauce with cinnamon, sprinkle granola on top and toss in it the microwave for a bit it tastes like apple crisp. Yummy! I have been eating a lot of “apple crisp” for breakfast.

Hubby and I went to a friend’s Halloween house party. There were a lot of great costumes. My friend and I went as inmates at a Women’s Prison, I would post the pictures but I’m afraid there are already far too many unflattering photos of me in my prison orange dress floating around out there. Yikes!

I have been collecting goodies for the ladies at the transition house and my spare room is starting to fill up with items for the 8 Christmas gift baskets. I will have to start checking my list to see who I have left to buy for this Christmas. We have managed to get a Guitar Hero game for my little brother and he will soooo excited. Hubby bought a copy for the Wii and we have been playing it quite a bit. It is a lot of fun.

Some November good news!
My cousin finally had her baby boy and both are healthy and happy. He has beautiful red hair and 5 names. K.P.R.M.W. is going to make even initialing something a chore.

My little brother was in town this weekend to accept his Chief Scout Award from the "Left-handed" Governor. (Lieutenant Governor). The award ceremony was held at the Legislature and there was a reception at the "Left-handed" Governor's home. I was very proud of him, I gave him the only gift I could be sure a 13 year old boy would appreciate - money.

I must be feeling better - I picked up my needles again.

Ta DA! My first unsupervised sock! Okay so it is only a plain jane ankle sock but it is mine and I love it. I will now attempt something I have never done before - knit a second sock. You may recall that my first sock was a collaboration with Canknitian and we each knit a sock for a friend's birthday. This was also my first attempt at knitting with sock yarn on those teeny tiny little needles.

When I showed my grandfather he laughed, he had tried to teach me to knit mittens with four dpn and I insisted that was way too many needles. I kept ending up with two needles holding the stitches and two in my hand. A year later I am knitting socks with 5 dpns! Just wait until I get the gumption to try knitting them on two circulars.

I am plesantly surprised to be upright before noon today. Last night we had a birthday extravaganza for my little sister's 30th birthday. I had the honour of putting together a poster of old photos, including some wicked Christmas morning hair. Sis's best friend rented a lodge for the party and it was a really good time. Because my sister does not eat sweets we had to do things a little differently, instead of a cake we had a platter with different cheeseballs set with candles and for one night only my beloved chocolate fountain was filled with nacho cheese sauce. I have to admit the flowing, dripping cheese was both yummy and mesmerizing but I still prefer the chocolate. The lumpy bits are jalepenos.

Canknitian arrived safe and somewhat sound from her sis's wedding and said the bride loved the cake I did for them. I saw a couple pictures on her camera but I can't wait to see the bigger photos to see how it turned out with the Gerbers. RB came with her new man, apparently we were not able to scare him off the first time around. Last night may have done it, to be specific her dance routine with my husband. (Anybody remember the episode of Friends where Monica and Ross revive a dance routine they had as teens? Yeah, just like that.)

I drank too much and said "Consequences be damned, I am going to eat that sweet, buttery, salty crunchy, fresh hydrocooled corn." I regret nothing - but I'm sure I will pay today. We tore up the dance floor while the boys played cards. At the end of the night I did a half-ass job of cleaning the cheese out of the fountain before heading home to bed. (Note to self: clean the cheese out of the fountain.) Tomorrow it is back to the grind.

Happy Labour Day everyone and Happy Birthday Lil' Sis.

Best Pals in the World

These arrived at my office yesterday afternoon. I immediately burst into tears, not the intended response I'm sure, but I was very touched that they would do this for me.


(They intended to have them sent to my house, but Hubby redirected the flower shop to my office.)

Short and Sweet

I know you have all been waiting to hear about my birthday extravaganza. I think the pictures say it all.

Hubby and I trapped in a giant lobster trap.

In my happy place.

The water was beautiful.

Group photo, there were 27 of us this year.

Yes, even fireworks! We had a spectacular show that put others down the beach to shame.

First bike ride of the year.

Friday I got to meet with my swapee, for the Spring Felted Bag Exchange. We had a lovely lunch and I think the bag I made suited her! Thanks again for a great lunch date Miss Me. Here is a poor photo of the bag, the colours are actually much brighter.

Friday evening was a girl’s night and Saturday evening was a deck party at my house. Hubby brought home some monstrosity of a bar from a yard sale and we had to host a party to “celebrate”. The role of Isaac was played by Hubby (making me Captain Stubing I think). We had a great turn out for such short notice and a good time was had by all!

On Sunday I went for a bike ride with RB and Canknitian, our afternoon trip was about 29kms out and back. I knew on Sunday that Monday would be rough. I have no idea how I managed to sit at my desk all day. I don’t remember as a kid having to ease into biking each summer. It doesn’t make any sense – I have MUCH more all-natural padding built in these days than I did as a kid and I’ve got a nice bike with a wide-ass seat and yet I felt like I may never sit again after just one afternoon out on the trail! It is one of the great mysteries of the universe why they haven’t been able to design a comfortable bike seat in the last 150 years!

I spent Monday mostly whining about my behind and had to soothe myself with a little retail therapy. A fabulous little black dress, a new brown suit and two pairs of sunglasses I was feeling no pain!

Today, dare I say it, I may actually be able to get back on the bike for a little more torture. There will not be any 27kms but a little tour around town may be in order. I’ll have to see how my fellow travelers are making out and if the rain will hold off.

A great day!

That's right two posts today. How could I wait I had such a good day. Today started off as a good day from the minute I stepped outside the door! I nearly walked right into the delivery guy who was bringing me my package of goodies from the Spring Felted Bag Exchange! What could I do, I didn't have time to take it back inside and I was certainly not going to wait for tonight to see what was inside so I took it to work!

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU Laurie C!

The first thing I noticed was that it was from Georgia and I thought "Hey I know a super cool blogger from Georgia who leaves me wonderful notes!" My suspicions were confirmed by those sneaky Canada Customs people who insist on having the name on the declaration slip.

Look at all the goodies that were in the giant box she sent.

In this very poor phot you can barely make out the Lamb's Pride in Green and the Galaway in Brown that was included. There were two books ( I love the patterns, I will be an expert knitter in no time!), some wool needles with a handy dandy case, tissues with bags on it, a stitch counter, three pink grapefruit scented products and a lovely card.

The small gold pouch on top of the book is my brand new, very first ever beaded stitch holders. My days of stitch holder envy are over thanks to my very generous Swap Pal.

Here you can see the fabulous colours of the yarn.

Thank you again Laurie!

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I told my Director that I would love to get some work done for her today but I was going to have to go home and knit something. She didn't agree. Today was crazy busy workday, I barely got up from my desk all day and as many things as I got done there were twice as many things on my list at the end of the day.

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One of my rare excursions from the office was put together some materials for an order. On my way to the storage room I noticed there was some odd green foam board outside the IT office next door. It did not look like anything you would normally associate with computers and I wondered what it was. When I passed it again on my way back to the office I thought it looked a like something used for sound-proofing (how I know what soundproofing looks like I'm not sure, may be a remnant from my college radio days). Again I thought it was a strange thing to be outside an IT office. I had a fleeting thought that they may be tired of listening to my boss yell into her speaker phone or argue with her research partner.

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Don't get me wrong, I really like my boss, most days. But she is easily frazzled, stamps her feet and swears when something goes wrong and has the most annoying habit of ONLY using speaker phone. There has been an ongoing feud between her and the guy next door. He bangs things agains the wall and sneezes so loud I've had people say they could hear it on my phone. Last year "they" (not sure who "they" were) made her switch her office around so that she was not facing their shared wall when she was yelling into the phone.

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Today was particularly loud as she and her research partner were argueing and both yelling into the speaker phone to the research assistant. It made for a long afternoon but when I stopped in to say goodbye to my boss I noticed that they had actully covered the other side of the wall in sound-proofing- including the windows at the top! I have to say I laughed all the way home. I can only imagine how much complaining he had to do to get them to actually soundproof the office! Too bad they didn't leave enough in the hall to soundproof the other wall which divides her office from mine.

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Tonight I had Pilates, it was a small class with quite a few people missing. Not sure where all my pals were tonight but we had a good time, lots of laughs and enough crunches to ensure that I will not be able to move tomorrow with out calling the instructor names. After class, those of us who were good enough to go to class decided to undo all of the work we had done with a trip to DQ. Mmmm ice cream, my favourite!

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Some of my fellow fertility bloggers have had a rough week this week and my heart goes out to them. It is so hard not to get your hopes up. When the Doc told me there was increased pregnancy rate following the HSG I told myself that I was not going to get my hopes up but I can't help it. I realized today that my hopes are definately up since I have been taking prenatal vitamins faithfully which I never do (stupid horsepills), I have been extra careful about not missing any of my daily pills and taking them at the same time every night. I also made sure that Hubby and I had lots of ... er... um... 'quality time' on the peak days. While I know deep down that it probably will not happen I just can't help thinking that maybe, just maybe this will be the month.

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I had a great comment from Cass today who said she enjoyed reading my rantings. It's good to know I amuse someone other than myself. (I peeked over at your blog, and can't wait to have the chance to look at it closer.)

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Finally, I have set a lunch date for Friday to meet the one and only Miss Me in person. I have finished her felted bag and can hardly wait to meet her and see how she likes it! She posted some pics from the first package on her site. (I forgot to take any pics myself so I'm glad she posted a few.)

Back by popular demand!

Hey there folks! Did you wonder if I was really and truly kidnapped? Well I was but it was only for the day. Initially they planned to take me repelling a couple of hours away from here. (This explains the instructions for the clean undies and pink leotard.)


Unfortunately we were not able to go on Saturday so I spent the day on my swing, with a book and some yarn. Friday night I hung out with my buddy Bean at the airport while we waited for his lovely wife and their two infants to arrive home from Texas. Saturday night we hosted a BBQ and Stanley Cup Finals party.

My friend the lucky lottery winner came by to watch the game. While he was bragging up the new house his girlfriend was having a conversation about how she “just can’t seem to put on weight!” They were both promptly pelted with baby carrots for being both skinny AND rich”. (Actually, I’m very happy for both of them and can’t wait to see the inside when they move in next month.)

On Sunday I was given a 15 minute warning that the kidnappers were on their way. We hopped in the car and headed out of town. Silly me, I thought we would just hit the regular stores but sis and Canknitian had another plan. We ended up at a yarn shop! While Canknitian and I fondled the yummy yarns, Sis made a fuss over the pup and struck up a conversation about spinning dog hair. (She is a groomer.) She said after we left that listening to us in the yarn shop was like listening to another language. She is not at all crafty and had no idea what anyone was saying! She said she only understood about every third word. “ Blah, blah socks, blah blah wool, blah blah green”

She was a good sport and we were soon off to lunch (very yummy treat from Canknitian) and then to Costco! The retail therapy, or just being busy seems to be working. Unfortunately it was not enough to curb my spending at the fabric shop where I bought material to make two dresses on Monday night.

Part of the reason I’ve been missing from this blog is that I’ve been busy updating the Monkey and Teecee website with all the great books we’ve been reading. We are nearly half-way through our 100 books with 43 down! We will break 50 this Thursday on library night! I think I’ll buy a big balloon or something in advance to have once we read the 50th book. He LOVES his website and brags (almost as much as I do about our book challenge.)

All clear and only slightly traumatized.

It's over and done! The HSG was awful and painful but not nearly as bad as I had imagined it to be. And much to my releif there was no freezing involved!

They insisted on taking blood for a pregnancy test although I assured them that after 9 years it would be a bloody miracle if it came back positive. Nothing like adding a little insult to injury eh? Then there was some confusion about who was my doctor and who was doing the proceedure. Dr. M. was unavailable so he had booked me in with another doc in his office who was scheduled to be at the hospital that day. This was news to Dr. L. who insisted that he did not have a patient in today. Once that was straightened out the whole thing did not take very long.

Hubby said it was 7 minutes and 20 seconds from when they kicked him out to when they opened the door. While I was a little upset that he couldn't be with me I was glad he was waiting outside. Apparently some male hospital staffperson was lingering around the exam room and was about to open the door to come in when Hubby stopped him. How mad would I have been to have been exposed to the world! (or at least the waiting room) Somebody would have gotten hurt. Bad enough I had to ask them to close the door before I got on the table.

I wouldn't lie to you, there were parts that were painful and those parts were VERY painful but they were short lived. I had some cramps during and after but all in all I was prepared for much worse. I wouldn't recommend having it done for kicks but if you find yourself in need of one I wouldn't dread it the way I did. I'm still having some cramps a couple of hours later but I am planning to go to my Pilates class tonight.

I was glad I got to watch the screen as it was being done. I got to see the dye filling up and flooding out. (out to where? -I don't want to think about it.) The right side filled and flooded right away and the left side took a bit longer but also flooded. The findings are that there are no blockages and the tubes are all clear!

Now is that good news? Well yes and no. Yes, it is good to know I don't have any cysts or blockages that would require surgery but on the other hand if they found something I'd at least know what the problem was and what was involved in fixing it. As it stands now I'm left with the same diagnosis I've had for the last 3 years - "unexplained infertility".

The Doc did say that there was an increased pregnancy rate immediately after having the test so the odds are better for the next 3 months. I don't want to get my hopes up too much but I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for the next little while.

Thank you soooo much for all of the support in emails and comments. It has been a rough week and this blog has been very theraputic. I wish I had started 3 years ago when I felt like I was the only woman in the world who couldn't have children. Thanks again for taking an interest in my little drama.

Clomid Chronicles: Thank Heavens for Little Boys, Friends and Family

Warning:
Those readers just looking for an update on the latest crafty project or swap will probably want to check back in a couple of weeks.

Those readers who enjoy soap operas may want pop some corn and stay tuned for the train wreck that my life is about to become. That’s right it’s time for another installment of the “Clomid Chronicles” Now in 3D (triple dose!)

I had a very disappointing appointment with my Doc yesterday. In fact, the whole ordeal was a disaster. I have been going to see him for three years and so I’ve learned to prepare myself for a waiting room full of pregnant bellies, the posters of mothers with their newborns, pictures of all of the babies delivered by the Doc etc. I’m even prepared for the staff to ask me how many weeks I am and making me announce to the waiting room that I am there because of infertility. I have dealt with all of this repeatedly but yesterday was too much. When I walked into the office there were no less than 10 signs posted that said:

BABY BOOM ALERT!
We are experiencing a Baby Boom and currently have more pregnancies than our doctors typically handle. Please be prepared for delays between appointments as we try to accommodate the larger than normal number of pregnant patients.

It makes perfect sense; we recently had a bunch of soldiers head to Afghanistan (say about 3 months ago) so the baby boom is to be expected. However, my already fragile, infertile brain reads: “EVERYONE IS PREGNANT BUT YOU!” I told the Doc he was killing me with the signs and he agreed that it wasn’t fair.

Then he tells me that the drugs still aren’t working (which I knew) and that he felt he had done all he could do for me. Gulp. I was not prepared for that. I knew that eventually we may have to consider going to see an out-of-province specialist and have to decided how much we could afford or would be willing to spend on more invasive options like IVF. I just was ready for eventually to be today.

The next step will be a hysterosalpingogram (which I’m told is most unpleasant and quite painful) and then waiting for a consultation date in Nova Scotia. In the meantime, I start the 3D dose of Clomid and hope that next month is the month! It gets a little frustrating when 15 babies have been born to friends and family in the 3 years I’ve been taking the crazy pills.

I’m a mess already and I don’t start the pills until tonight. I cried at the Doc’s office, I cried in the car, I cried when I broke the news to Hubby, I cried at pilates, I cried at my sister’s and then went home and cried some more. And oh boy does it show today. Luckily, I scheduled a photo for the Charities press release for tomorrow.

Thank heavens for little boys, friends and family. Canknitian let me cry in the car on the way to Pilates, Monkey made me smile by having a meltdown when I said it was too late to go to the library, Sis fed me cookies and ice cream, The Papa (my step-dad) listened to me talk to Mom about my fallopian tubes without turning red and leaving the room, RB reminded me Nova Scotia = road trip, and Hubby bought me a meter of fabric I wanted to make a bag for myself. (He’s a good man who knows the way to a crafter’s heart.)

I really am trying to pull myself out of this but I fear the Clomid will make that pretty hard in the next few days so bear with me!

Book Challange is a grand success!

The book challenge seems to be a great success. Monkey is so excited when I stopped by last night to mend a CareBear (Aunt Teecee fixes things)he came running with a pile of books. When I told him we could read two books and that would bring us up to 14 he started dancing around singing and counting to 14. He has even asked to go to the library early this week and so I will be taking him tonight - who can resist a request like that! (Shh, don't tell the monkey but we are also going to see Shrek tonight!)

I was trying to think of the best way to track our progress, since Monkey can't read a list is a little useless to him. I decided to create a blog with images of the book covers so he can see the ones we have read and remember the story from the cover. I've had many emails and comments on this book challenge and anyone interested in following our progress can visit Teecee and Monkey's Reading Challenge to see how we are doing. Monkey and I are also recording which books we really liked and our favourite thing from each story so if you have young children in your life you could get some good ideas.

This weekend was a long weekend in Canada, formally known as Victoria Day weekend, informally known as the May 2-4 Weekend. We spent our 2-4 at a rented cottage on the bay. It was rainy and miserable outside but a whole lot of fun inside. Hubby and a friend went into town on Saturday night to see B.B. King, the rest of us holed up in the cottage all weekend with cards,Yahtzee and the Bob and Doug McKenzie 2-4 Anniversary Special. A great time was had by all.

Back to the grind today! (At least this is a short week.)

Meanwhile back at the Beausejour

It seems like forever since I've been to Moncton, although it can't have been more than a couple of months. I'm holed up at my usual haunt - the Delta - for the week. This can only mean trouble since the only things I do in Moncton is shop and eat. So far I've hit the Micheal's, Addition Elle and Old Navy. I'm saving Costco for Friday.

I'm also right on track with the eating agenda. Last night I had dinner with the only two suckers, er friends, who are still practicing law. Every visit I get closer to convincing Mr. Sucker to get out. Fortunately, they took pity on their poor non-profit colleague and treated me to dinner at a great spot down the street. We had a wonderful visit and made plans to go to their place for dinner tomorrow night.

Tonight I am having dinner with my long lost cousin. I'm really looking forward to getting together with her. For now I think I'll just enjoy the peace and quiet of my hotel room.

But why Captain America?

I'm a pretty patriotic type of gal, just this week our pilates class was interupted when my cell phone broke into a midi chorus of O'Canada, so I'm not sure why my darling little monkey has decided has to be Captain America. Now don't get me wrong Cpt. A. is a cool superhero, what with the shield and all, but why him? What could have such an strong influence on the 4 year old mind? Oh yeah, he's on his underoos!

Lil' Sis said she can not find a thing with Cpt. A. on it, and Monkey desperately NEEDS a costume. Hubby and Sis tried to convince me to make him one but my crafty canadian brain just can't imagine where I will find the time to sew a cowl with wings. Luckily for Monkey, Hubby is not so easily put off. He starts talking about how to do an easy version. He bought some iron-on transfer paper and printed out the star and stripes for the blue t-shirt he bought, he found some blue pants and shorts at the second hand store and with a little bit of design help (and threading of the sewing machine) he made a shield out of a foam cushion and some iron on stripes and stars.


The result one very happy Captain America! He has hardly taken it off all week. He even wore it to Daycare!


On an unrelated note - Happy No Pants Day one and all! We will be dropping our pants at the door for charity at today's No Pants Day BBQ. (For those who may be mislead this is in no way a nudist event. It is all pretty PG - boxers, housecoats, towels, long johns, anything but pants.) While last year the weather was a little chilly, this year it is down-right cold so our celebration of spring will likely be more of an indoor event. Either way there will be burgers, beverages and babies to squeeze so it will be a good time.

I had the time of my life...

Tonight I went to see Dirty Dancing on the big screen. As part of the 20th anniversary of the film (and to promote the stage show coming to Toronto) they are showing it for two nights. Both days were sold out by supper, luckily I went after work and pick up tickets for me and the girls. I think we counted 3 brave men in sea of women. I had never seen it on the big screen, it was a blast! I can't imagine how many times I have seen the movie, I also played the soundtrack to death.

It makes me miss going out dancing. I remember the days when I spent every Thursday night to Sunday morning on the dancefloor. There is not really any place for adults to go dancing here. It is a university town and the bars are filled with young skinny half-naked girls. It is hard to feel as confident as we did 10 years ago.

The crazies have all but passed and I am feeling much more like myself again. I had a slight set back when my Dr. left a message saying he was increasing the dose again. Poor Hubby may not survive "Triple Crazy". If I set up a swear jar I may save a fortune next month.

All of my friends have recently discovered Facebook. What a blast finding old friends and seeing the pictures people post. One thing I can say is that we have a lot of fun. Hubby and I have a great group of friends who are up for anything and we are always planning some adventure, costume party or ways to improve our annual birthday bash on the beach. (Less than 100 days to go - I can hear the hammock calling my name.)

I think I've come to a decision on the job front. I've decided that it is worth keeping a job that I love until I find a job that at least interests me and pays better. I have so many friends that are bailing on high paying firm jobs because they hate going to work everyday. While I would prefer to work from home any day I have to say that I don't dread going to work. Besides, if I leave who is going to scare the pants off of the kids by telling them what will happen if they break the law. Also, I am the only lawyer in the province, and possibly the country who has their own handy dandy prize wheel.




As you can see from the photo the prize wheel can also be used to encourage bad behaviour!

My first exchange!

On all of the crafty blogs I read everyone is doing these fun exchanges and now I'm going to get to try it out. I've joined the Spring Felted Bag Exchange. (Thanks Miss Me, I found the link on your site!)

I can't wait to get a match and start working on a gift for them. Any tips on what makes a good exchange pal? I don't want to drop the ball on my first exchange.

Here is my questionaire:
1. How long have you been knitting or crochetting? How did you learn?
I have been crochetting for 23 years, my Grampy taught me when I was 8. I have only recently learned how to knit.

2. What are your favorite yarns to knit\crochet felted bags with? I love Patons Classic Wool for felting - great colours.

3. What are your favorite needles to knit\crochet with? I've had my steel hooks so long I don't know what brand they are. I am just starting to accumulate a hodge-podge of knitting needles.

4. What are the last 3 bags you knitted\crochetted (include URL for Yahoo! or flickr album or your blog if you have them!)? You can also link to patterns if you don't have pictures of your finished objects!
The last three felted bags I've made have all been circle bags but I just finished a cute crocheted purse from a pattern in a magazine.

5. Do you carry the bags that you make, give them as gifts, or both? Like most crafters I usually give away everything I make. I rarely get around to making something for myself.

6. What is your favorite felted bag that you have made for yourself? It was a circle bag but it has not yet been felted.

7. What are your favorite colors? Do you like bags in these colors or choose other colors? Purples (mauves and plums) Sage green, chocolate brown (oddly all food related colours) but I'm not fussy - anything but peach.

8. Chocolate: White, Milk, Dark, or not so much? Dark or Milk

9. Coffee, Tea, or Milk? Fruit Teas and Milk

10. Do you prefer sweet or salty treats? What kinds? Sweet.

11. If you went into Bath and Body Works and could only come out with one item, what would it be and what would it smell like? Grapefruit

12. Do you enjoy any other crafts or hobbies? Do you collect anything? Lots of hobbies - decorating cakes, sewing

13. Are there any bag patterns you have not yet knit, but hope to someday? none that I can think off

14. What is currently OTN (on the needles) for you? A special request for a purple and red bag for a member of the Red Hat Society.

15. What is your most recent finished object before that? A knit scarf patterned like the Acadian flag - compete with star.

16. What's cutest: Puppies, Piggies or Pixies? Puppies

17. Do you enjoy reading? Books, Magazines, or both? Both, I enjoy a novel with great characters.

18. Do you have any children? (kid-kind or pet-kind apply!) A cat

19. What are some of your favorite yarns for other projects? Freedom Wool, Briggs and Little, I'm not fussy.

20. And for the final question, one I see debated all over: Novelty Yarn - Love it or Hate it? - Hate it.

So there it is, now I just have to wait to be matched up!

So far its been a hectic day. It's not even noon and I've cleaned up from last night's BBQ Party, made a date with my Grandparents, connected with an old flame on Facebook, and gone on a rescue mission to help my friend who had sprained her ankle and was lying in her driveway up the street for me. (DM is fine, just a little sore.) What an awful feeling to not be able to get up and be stuck in the driveway with two young kids running around. The oldest (6) comes running to my car to tell me that "Mom is going to be okay" while the youngest(3)is desperate to get into the house because "Mom needs a Band-aid". Kids have such big hearts.

The Heaster Heggs Unt and the Heaster At

I really do admire people who are fluent in more than one language. My Hubby is one of them, he is can flip back and forth with no accent either way. He was raised in a French household but lived in English communities. It is something I just can't seem to master. Although I can read and understand a great deal of spoken French I have no ability to speak it myself. I know the words but not the grammar. That said - there is something inherently funny about accents.

I took the Monkey to an Easter story time at the library this morning. I took the morning off just for the occasion. I picked him up from his daycare to go on his first trip to the library. They had a librarian in a bunny suit (more on that later) reading stories, singing songs and doing crafts. She was great with the kids and had them all very engaged. She did however have a very thick French accent. The first story as about An Heaster Heggs Unt and every page was "Do you think this it is an heaster heggs? No, it is not an heaster heggs it is a..." The second story was about a special "Heaster at" for the Heaster parade. She did a great job but it made me chuckle. I have to give her credit, if I ever got brave enough to read a story aloud in French the audience would be rolling on the floor.

After we finished our craft and picked our books we headed back to daycare. Unfortunately they had an early lunch and so I had to get the Monkey dressed and back in the car to go for lunch at my house. There was a lot of arm twisting going on over lunch. "mmm,how about we stay at your house today?" "We could snuggle on the couch and have a nap at your house." "We had only had one half a day from daycare, let's have two half a days from daycare." It was so hard to resist! It would have been a beautiful day to spend with the Monkey but I had to go back to work.

Hubby took him to the Globetrotters game last night and they had a blast. Apparently the basketball players were cool but it was the mascot - Globey that was the big hit. I went to see "Blades of Glory" with friends. I expected nothing from it and laughed the whole way through! (The end was a little much.) It was juvenille and had an obvious plot but it also had some good laughs.

Tonight we had pilates and for the first time I sat close to the mirrored wall. I won't make that mistake again. There is nothing encouraging about watching your round little body bulge as you twist and turn. Generally, I can imagine that I am much more graceful than I actually appear. I usually can relax and focus on the movements but tonight I was distracted and kept thinking "My God, you really are a round little butterball! - Good grief are my boobs really that big!"

On the upside I did keep thinking that I liked my new haircut.

Don't Tug on Superman's Cape

Family:
Today is my nephew's 4th birthday. I can hardly believe it! It can't be 4 years and 2 days since Lil Sis was in my office telling me we were going to have a St. Paddy's day baby! (Boy was she wrong!) He was such a little beach bum when he was born, he had long blonde shaggy hair. His hair is now dark blonde but he still has the most beautiful blue eyes that twinkle when he is up to no good.

We had a family dinner tonight featuring his favourite meal - take-out Chinese. Mom and The Papa were there but Hubby had to work. After dinner Sis offered to take me up to Hubby's work to drop off the car so I wouldn't have to go back after him at midnight. The Monkey was so excited to see his uncle that we decided to take him to McDonald's so he could play while Hubby had his supper.

He was so cute running around the playground with his Superman pjs on (complete with cape!).
When it was time to take Hubby back to work he took off to the top of the playground. I waited at the bottom of the slide. When he landed he was looking the other way and didn't see me so I leaned in and softly said "Boo". It startled him and he whipped around, looked at me for half a second and then punched me in the nose!

He didn't hit hard, I think he realized halfway through what he was doing and tried to pull back but it smarts just the same. Sis and I are trying very hard to keep a straight face as we tell him not to hit. It was just so obvious that it was a knee-jerk reaction that you just couldn't be really upset with him. It is important to note that he did come back down the slide to kiss my nose better and say "Sorry Teecee".

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Work:

What a depressing (yet productive) day at work. To look at my agenda would give someone who didn't know me the wrong impression.

Today's agenda read:

8 am - 9 am Breakfast

9 am - 11 am Sexual Assault

1 pm - 4 pm Child Abuse

I spent the morning in a meeting talking about education around sexual assault law and the proposed changes to the age of consent to sexual activity. The afternoon was spent editing a publication for parents and service providers about reporting child abuse and neglect. While it is all important work it is sad that there is such a need for these materials.

Thankfully tomorrow promises to be much lighter fare!

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Friends:

A great weekend overall. CL came up for the weekend to cheer up Hubby. (His cool new job fell through.) The two of them started St. Paddy's day on Friday evening with a bottle of wine.

On Saturday the gang got together at an Irish pub for lunch to kick off the festivities. The hardcore group went to settle in at another pub, I opted to spend a couple of hours watching movies with JE and working on Hubby's Acadian scarf.

When I returned to the pub, Lil Sis and friends were just arriving. We all managed to get some tables together in the back room. She, of course was sporting her flashy green metallic eyelashes and quickly choose a waiter to flirt with/torment. It is, after all, tradition.

Unfortunately the torrential rainfall kept many people home (weather wusses). Although shortly after the roof started leaking many of our group headed out. Hubby, true to his word, was dragged out of the bar. It was not quite the end of the night as he had planned but the crowd was fizzling so we decided to move the party back to the house.

Being a good DD I drove everyone home and came home to fall asleep on the couch while CL, DC and Hubby watched the "Roast of William Shatner" on TV.

Yesterday was BS' birthday and although he hates his birthday he allowed the rest of us to celebrate with a yummy DQ Strawberry Cheesecake Blizzard Cake. It is a thing of beauty. We took turns butchering songs on the Wii karaoke game. I'm not a singer by any means but I did take top honours with my renditions of both "Uptown Girl" and "Time After Time." I love a singing game that does not require singing skills.

RB helped with some work I was trying to wrap up and we had Greek for supper. Chicken souvlaki is so good for supper but it is still best breakfast on Saturday morning at the market.

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Still No Baby

Today officially marks Day 1 of the next round. In just two short days the crazy begins with a new round of drugs. It would just have to be the last two weeks of the year end.

I can't believe it caught me off guard, the signs were so clear - uncontrollable chocolate cravings, no energy, organizing closets, dreaming I was pregnant, - short of scrubbing the bathroom (which had already been done on Friday) all the signs were there.

EB and I are both going to be unbearable this week so we have put the office on alert. (This is another perk of an all female office.) Today, we decided that since misery loves company we would lock ourselves in a boardroom to hammer out some revisions.

Watch for upcoming subject lines such as: "Vehicular manslaughter can't be all bad", "mmm...chocolate" and "Why is everyone pregnant but me."

I am keeping in mind that this is still a good sign since, I am almost on schedule and therefore the drugs seem to be doing the trick. If all goes well it will just be a matter of time before I am complaining about being pregnant.

Fingers crossed for the next round!

Check with your doctor before beginning a new diet

So I told my Dr. about my plans for the “All Ice Cream Fertility Diet” and she said “Go for it!” Now it could be that she really didn’t take me seriously but you should never doubt how far a woman will go to have a baby - especially if it involves ice cream.

Although I'm sure it is already on the list somewhere I should add "Super Genius". I am going to create a line of Gourmet Fertility/Prenatal Ice Cream. It would contain all of the folic acid and vitamins that you need when you are trying to get pregnant and through pregnancy and would feature such flavours as "Quadruple Chocolate" and "Vanilla and Dill Pickle". Because it caters to the infertility and prenatal crowd I could easily charge 500% more than regular ice cream. Yup, Super Genius it is.

My friends did have a good point; you run the risk of overdosing on the vitamins if you eat the whole tub of ice cream. They suggested making the vitamins as sprinkles that could be added separately.

We had a welcome home party for DC who just came back from two months in China with her beau. We are getting so old; we were all fading and ready to head home by 11:00. It could have been the snow storm; I think we got something like 15-20cm. The roads were snow filled but not terrible. Hubby played chauffer and picked up and dropped off some of the girls. He is a good sport; once again he was the only man at the party.

DC brought me a lovely purse and a pretty bracelet back from her travels.