10 years of marriage

Okay so I've neglected my blog for the last 6 months.

I did start to write the following post for my anniversary in June but it never got finished. I started it on our anniversary and celebrated with our friends late into the night. I must have planned to finish it the next morning but that was the day I found out I am deathly allergic to asprin. Thank goodness for good friends and good drugs.

I'll post an update soon with all the excitement we've had in the last 6 months but for now here is the post from June.

June 2008
I can hardly believe I've been married for 10 years! Turning 30 didn't faze me a bit but being married 10 years makes me feel old. Of course the fact that my Grandparents have been married for 60 years makes 10 seem like a drop in the bucket.


All the same it is milestone! Although the time has flown by it certainly hasn't been an easy ride. We have had the normal ups and downs that come from being married young like learning to manage money and stress. We've survived law school, three heart surgeries, years of fertility treatments and the related drama. We've also had a lot of fun, adventures and good friends. One thing I can say for certain is that it has never been boring.


When I look back I think we were soooo young. I was only 22 and Hubby was 24. We didn't rush into it by any means, we had dated for 4 years and were engaged for a year and a half before the actual wedding. We were the first of our friends to get married and the girls who stood up with me then are still among my closest friends today.



Things I've learned in 10 years of marriage:

• You can be truly in love at 22.


• The person you marry today will be exactly the same in 10 years. You will not change their habits, bad jokes or hobbies. If they leave dirty socks in the living room they probably always will. (you can't undo 24 years of habit in 10 years but maybe by our 25th anniversary...)


• My personal opinion is that you should definately live with someone before you get married. The things that drive you nuts today will still drive you crazy in 10 years. You may think that leaving that you'd get over the fact they leave the cap of the toothpaste but 3650 mornings later it will still annoy you.


• It takes just as much patience for someone to live with you for 10 years as it does for you to live with them.


• "Your in-laws" eventually become just "your family".

• "In sickness and in heath" is not just something you say in your vows, you have to mean it.

• Even though you think in 14 years you could know everything about someone they will still say/do/buy things that will completely shock you.

• You will remember some details from your wedding day but will completely forget some of the names in the guest book. ("Didn't they work with you?")

I'm not sure what else I had planned to add to this list back in June but I have to say that a marriage, or at least my marriage, could not survive without the support of friends and family. The secret of our success has been having friends who surround us with love, share our sad days and celebrate our good times. Some people put a lot of effort keeping up appearances but Hubby andI rely on our friends and luckily they are always there for us.

Packing and Unpacking

Last week our office moved up from the 1st floor to the 4th floor of our building. Just far enough that we had to pack everything and unpack everything, and we have a lot of things! It has been a good excuse to do some spring cleaning and I did find some hidden gems.

I found a note that Lil' Bro had written for me when he was in Grade 5. I was giving a presentation for his class and then had to meet with one of the local police officers to talk about my video project. My Lil' Bro lives about an hour from me and while I was pretty sure where the police station was I wanted to be certain. I asked the teacher to give me directions and Lil' Bro pipes up and says he knows the way and he will write the directions for me. This is what he wrote

- left from school

- left at Daliys

- left at lights

- left at licker store

- left at poleice

I found a print out of the article about the "All Ice Cream Fertility Diet". I think I'm still carrying around some of the "High Fat" from that one. It didn't work but maybe I just didn't try hard enough. Just in case, I had ice cream twice last night.

I found some pictures of our Birthday Weekend a couple of years ago and discovered that our new bookkeeper knows my friend's ex and had met RB a couple of times before.

I found an email that RB recieved from someone when she was doing the online dating thing. The guy wrote in all caps about how he couldn't have overnight guests where he lived but he did have a car. A great pick-up line when you are 16 but not so much in your 30's. Besides WRITING IN ALL CAPS THAT YOU WANT TO DO IT IN YOUR CAR GIVES A KINDA CREEPY VIBE. I'm really glad that she eventually found a really good man who is very good to her.

To wrap up the week, we took my boss out for drinks and dessert on Friday night. Hubby came to pick me up and had flagged down a friend on the way. She joined us for dinner and then I dropped her off at home on my way to a 'stitching function' with the girls.

On the home front, Hubby got his date to go for his surgery. He goes in on the 28th, surgery on the 29th and if all goes well we'll be home by the 30th. In the meantime, he is preoccupied with Hockey (Go Habs) and he and Monkey are having a hockey playoffs sleepover tonight while Lil' Sis is writing her final exam. Foxy will be coming too! We got permission from the landlord and he'll be gradually moving in over the next few weeks.

Sugarbush and Foxy Brown

I've had a great weekend. My workshop on Friday went off without a hitch and I was able to come home Friday night instead of Saturday morning. Hubby and I had a quiet tv night. On Saturday morning we picked up my Monkey and my friend's little boy and took them out to Kings Landing for the Sugarbush. Another friend and her son went with us and we had a great time. Fresh air, maple candy right from the tree, sliding, mud puddles and music make for a perfect outing for little boys.

I'd like you to meet Foxy!

Foxy was seized from a very bad home and has been in fostercare with Lil' Sis. (She calls him Herbie.) I think he is beautiful. He is a 3 yr old Pomeranian and weighs all of 6 lbs. Even Purl out weighs him! Sis has gone on an overnight excursion to Maine and Hubby and I have taken Foxy for a sleepover to see how he gets along with the cats. So far it is MUCH better than we expected. He is so timid the cats are not afraid of him.

He has been very good. He has spent most of the time curled up with me or following me around like a shadow. He has not made any noise other than some wimpering this morning which was resolved by bringing him to the bedroom. This afternoon he and Athena were both curled up in the chair. He still needs some time to be housebroken but Sis is going to get him litter trained. so we don't even have to worry about getting home on time or getting up at 5 am. Hubby is sold and now we have to convince the landlord that he really is just another cat.

Hello again

I finally got a few minutes to myself on Easter Sunday to catch up. When I last wrote Hubby was waiting for surgery again. They did not end up doing the surgery in January. When he got to SJ they did all of the tests, got him prepped for surgery and just minutes before they began the surgeon decided to run the diagnostics again. He thought that it may just be a matter of time before the lead settled into place and decided not to do the surgery.

A few weeks later with a change is meds Hubby is feeling much better and is back to work (promoted even!). Unfortunately, the wire did not settle into place and we are once again waiting for surgery. They are consulting with other surgeons to see if they should proceed. At least this time he will not have to be in hospital waiting.

In the meantime, I have been working my butt off to get all of my work projects wrapped up by March 31st. Once the projects are done I have to pack up my office for a move to the 4th floor. This is a pain in the neck but good news. It means I will be able to open my curtains and enjoy the sunshine. Being on the ground floor, I had a view of the loading bay and lots or delivery guys staring in. I kept my curtains closed so I didn’t always feel like I was in the zoo.

In the crafty end of things my last project turned out great! My friends Wordnerd and MD just had a beautiful baby boy and I made a pillow for the nursery. The new Papa produces his own comics including one that features their very handsome beagle, Genghis. I took one of his drawings and turned it into a knitting pattern for the pillow. The back is a very soft plush. It was a hit! You can a few shots of the pillow in a fantastic short video Papa MD made of baby’s trip home. (Love, love, love the video.) I am so glad they are finally all home safe and sound. I also got signed up for Ravelry. I think it will be great when I have more time to play around with it. If you are on you can look me up as TheCraftyCanadian.

I’m looking forward to catching up more with everyone when March is over.
C.C.

Starting Over

So my Hubby is right back to where we started a month ago, sitting in hospital waiting for surgery.

He spoke to his doctor here on Thursday because he was not recovering as quickly as they thought he would and was feeling sick and tired all of the time. The doc decided to squeeze him in for an ECG at the hospital on Friday. The ECG came back that his rhythm was good so doc figured that it was most likely the medications that were causing him to feel worn out. He decided to reduce the drugs and let the ICD take over controlling the heart rate.

We were scheduled to go back to SJ to have the machine checked in 3 weeks time. The hospital here only has clinics for pacemakers and ICDs on Fridays and they just do one brand, or make, of machine each week. Luckily we knew what make his ICD was and it just happened to be that company rep who was doing the clinic yesterday. It was pure luck and they were able to squeeze him in.

When they hooked the ICD up to the diagnostic machine and looked at the history everything looked great, but when they tried to make his heart speed up so they could check the rhythm it wouldn't work. In the end they discovered that one of the wires into the heart had come loose so they had to shut off the machine immediately because it could shock him unnecessarily and in the wrong part of the heart. In an a matter of minutes the situation changed from being on our way home to being admitted and waiting for surgery again.

They think they can get him in for surgery next week. In the meantime, Hubby has to stay in hospital so they can monitor his heart. He was pretty upset about the whole thing yesterday afternoon but once he had something to eat and a visit from Monkey he was in much better spirits and less cranky about his accommodations. (they didn't have a regular room available so he is in a treatment room.) He also got the first good night's sleep he's had in a long time and looked better rested this morning.

He is not thrilled about having to redo the surgery and start his recovery from scratch. We both realize how lucky he is that they happened to catch the problem before they took him off the medications and relied on the machine.

Personally, I'm exhausted from the last month. I can't even imagine how tired I will be after another two months! I just want to have him healthy and at home. Everyone keep your fingers crossed that this is the last surgery he'll need for the next 5 years.

Thanks again to everyone for all the support.

Happy Holidays from Crafty Canadian and her Bionic Boy

Well another month has flown by. I can't believe it, while my concerns about being childless at Christmas were all I could think about last month, this month brought a whole new category of drama and I have hardly had time to think about anything.

Two weeks ago at 4:00 am I woke Hubby up because I had a dream that he had died suddenly of complications from his heart condition. I was crying when I woke up and the dream was so real his snoring in the bed beside me actually startled me. I woke him up in the dead of night to tell him I was glad he wasn't dead. He mumbled something about also being glad he was not dead and drifted back to sleep.

In the morning I got up and went to the market, got my hair done and went shopping for something fabulous to wear to Hubby's work party. I told my friend about my dream and she assured me that it meant good things for the person I had dreamt of. When I told her how upset I was the night before we joked that it was probably a good thing that after so long I still wanted him around. When I got home Hubby was making himself a light lunch and after we relaxed on the couch and watched TV. I told him again that I was glad he was still alive. Twenty minutes later we were rushing to the hospital.

Hubby has had heart problems since he was 12 and 5 years ago we went to Toronto for open heart surgery to remove an overgrown muscle blocking 85% of the blood flow. His heart function was immediately improved and after a lengthy recovery he was better than ever. After 16 years he was off all heart medication and feeling great.

Two weeks ago things changed suddenly. Hubby was saying something was wrong with his heart and was beginning to panic. We were very use to being in and out of hospital and so I quickly got him dressed, put him in the car and drove to the emergency. Fortunately we live only 8 minutes away, when we arrived I parked the car outside the ER doors and helped him inside the doors where we got help immediately. I handed him off to the nurses, told them he had hypertrophic cardiomyopathy and went to move the car. When I came back there were 8 nurses and doctors hovered over him and his pulse was 273. It was beating erratically and racing out of control.

After a couple of hours, I called my parents and they came to the hospital and waited outside the ICU. It took all night and a lot of medication to finally get it within a normal range. At one point they prepared to shock his heart with the defibrillator to reset the rhythm, fortunately they did not have to resort to that. Although I was very worried, I was incredibly calm. I was in "The Zone", there was a lot going on, a lot of new information to take in and I knew I had to be calm and clear.

After a couple of days in Cardiac Care they were able to get his heart rate under control with the medication but the test result were very negative. There were half a dozen serious problems with the heart that had developed as a result of his condition. Any one of them would have been cause for concern. They said it was fortunate that his heart had given him a warning and not simply shut down. They told us he would eventually need a heart transplant but they were going to see what they could do in the meantime. We waited in hospital a few more days until they could get us to a hospital with a cardiac care centre.

He arrived at the new hospital by ambulance last Tuesday afternoon and within a few hours they told him they were going to be taking him at 7:30 am for surgery. The next morning they implanted a defibrillator inside his chest to reset the heart if the rhythm got out of control or to restart heart if it stopped beating. Unlike a pacemaker that delivers a slight and constant message to the heart, this one packs more of a punch and only kicks in when the heart is in crisis.

Fortunately he came through with flying colours. The surgery went very well, they tested the device to ensure that it was working properly and by Thursday afternoon he was ready to come home. He will have a long recovery with 6wks to 6 months of no driving and 4-6 weeks of not lifting his hands above his shoulders.

He is now referring to himself as the $30,000 man although because we live in Canada the total cost to us for the device plus surger, hospital stay, ambulance etc. was $0.00. His work even covered my hotel stay and most of my meals. My biggest expenses were gas and parking.

We are so happy to be home for Christmas. We didn't think it would be possible and while being home has a whole other set of challenges (I'm exhausted already) it is great to be home and with family for Christmas. We will have a low key celebration this year. I am going to miss having a tree and having decorations but it is just too much work with everything else to be done.

So far I've been doing great at keeping it together, through all the bad news and surgery I have been calm and together, with just a few minor cracks. I was like this when he had his operation five years ago and I know it is just a matter of time before I fall to pieces but it will not likely be until he has been given the all clear by his docs. If he has to go through this every 5 years to replace the device we may get very good at adapting to it all. He has always had heart problems but they were more gradual and progressive, the complications are now far greater and more imminent than they were before.

We are very thankful for our wonderful friends and family who have been so supportive. They have offered help in every way since he first landed in the hospital. Last night someone dropped off a curry chicken which was fantastic because it means I did not have to cook. While we have not had a lot of visitors because everyone is gone for the holidays, we have had lots of emails and calls from our friends and family. We are so lucky to have them all!

To all my online pals, Happy Holidays and best wishes for a happy and healthy 2008!

October in a nutshell

Where did October go?

Wow, I can’t believe how long it has been since I have updated my blog. There has been a lot going on and I just can’t believe that it is already November. The missing month has had some ups and some downs and I will try to catch you up as quickly as possible. The key word for October has been BUSY!

Let’s get the bad stuff right out of the way.

Halloween kicked off what is sadly become a string of funerals. Last week began with the loss of my Great Uncle, the funeral was on Wednesday. Thursday, a group of girls traveled out of town to support a friend at her grandmother’s funeral, and Friday my cousin’s partner committed suicide leaving her a single mother to their young son. I also found out my grandmother is not well and will not strong enough to undergo the surgery required to save her life. While, she is technically my “ex-step-grandmother” she has been a grandparent to me since I was 8 years old. She lives with my “ex-stepmother” and my little brother and the coming months will be very hard on all of them.

I think part of the reason I have been avoiding updating my blog is that I was really hoping to have some good news. I must start by saying I am feeling much more like myself now that all of the fertility drugs are out of my system. I am not so easily upset and feel sane again. Although I think Christmas will still be a challenge, I am beginning to accept that life will go on with out a pregnancy.

This acceptance was spurred on by the fact that Hubby and I were approached about a private adoption. We kept our fingers crossed; our lips sealed and tried not to get our hopes up too much. Sadly, in taking the time to weigh their options the family let things get too and the girl is now in protective custody. Private adoption is no longer an option and an inter-provincial adoption would be complicated and too lengthy to be in the girl’s best interest. While we completely understand how and why things worked out the way they have, Hubby and I can’t help but be disappointed, both for the girl and for ourselves.

So eventually it will be back to the drawing board to consider the rest of our options, in the meantime November does not show any signs of slowing down and we will likely be full-tilt until the New Year.

Work has been very hectic and I am currently writing three publications which have to be printed by January, including the rewrite of a 100 page book. So far things are chugging along but I have not had a spare moment. I have also been preparing for workshops on reporting forms for charities – thrilling stuff. My first workshop was on Friday and you know it is bad when you nearly put yourself to sleep.

I have been practicing many of my unmarketable skills in the last month. I did a wedding cake for a fall wedding. I don’t often do cakes for people I don’t know but I was asked by my cousin and despite my concerns, the bride and groom were both thrilled with the way it turned out. I wish I had better pictures but these should give you a general idea.

I have also been at my sewing machine working on a beautiful prom dress. Next weekend is our annual “prom” weekend. Friends host a yearly theme party and this year it is a 50’s Prom in Halifax. While I would not usually go to such great lengths for a theme party, I was able to get a great deal on the fabric and pattern when a fabric store went out of business and I think the dress could easily be used again on New Year’s or some other event. I will post pictures when I finish mine later this week but here is the pattern:

Thanksgiving gave me the opportunity to make one of my favourite cakes – Princeton Orange Cake. We had a large family gathering with 15 for dinner. Later that week Monkey and I made apple crisp with apples we picked ourselves. We had a great time picking apples again and the Cortlands were finally ready! My sis has discovered that if you make a chunky applesauce with cinnamon, sprinkle granola on top and toss in it the microwave for a bit it tastes like apple crisp. Yummy! I have been eating a lot of “apple crisp” for breakfast.

Hubby and I went to a friend’s Halloween house party. There were a lot of great costumes. My friend and I went as inmates at a Women’s Prison, I would post the pictures but I’m afraid there are already far too many unflattering photos of me in my prison orange dress floating around out there. Yikes!

I have been collecting goodies for the ladies at the transition house and my spare room is starting to fill up with items for the 8 Christmas gift baskets. I will have to start checking my list to see who I have left to buy for this Christmas. We have managed to get a Guitar Hero game for my little brother and he will soooo excited. Hubby bought a copy for the Wii and we have been playing it quite a bit. It is a lot of fun.

Some November good news!
My cousin finally had her baby boy and both are healthy and happy. He has beautiful red hair and 5 names. K.P.R.M.W. is going to make even initialing something a chore.

My little brother was in town this weekend to accept his Chief Scout Award from the "Left-handed" Governor. (Lieutenant Governor). The award ceremony was held at the Legislature and there was a reception at the "Left-handed" Governor's home. I was very proud of him, I gave him the only gift I could be sure a 13 year old boy would appreciate - money.

The FSH Follies(?) - Preface

Some good news – at last! All of your good vibes must have done something. Hubby and I had a long week and a long evening last night. We went to dinner with my cousins and Sis, they all have young children so naturally the conversation was about kids. We made it through the evening but we were exhausted when we got home. I was unwinding in front of the tv when Hubby calls from upstairs.
He: “You have to come up and see this!”
Me: “Sigh” (He says this at least once a night!)
He: No really, it is not like the other times I told you to come see this, I mean you really have to come see this.

He had stopped to check his email before bed and there was an email from his insurance company. Apparently the other day when he called and left a message, he also sent an email to the company before they returned his call. The person who called was not at all helpful and told him they did not cover any fertility treatment.

When he wrote the email, he had asked not only about IVF but also about the coverage for the drugs. The email we got back said that they will cover 80% of all my drugs including the injections of FSH! They won’t cover the needles, appointments or any procedures but the drugs alone are $1000-2000/month. $200-$400 a month is still a lot but it is doable.

Can I get a WHO-HOOO!

What is even better is that because I live in beautiful, wonderful Canada most everything else is covered by Medicare. My doctor here will be administering the program and arranging for my ultrasounds etc. so they will be covered by Medicare. This does not include invitro but hopefully it won’t come to that!

I’m still not 100% convinced I want to do the shots, that could mean a whole new level of crazy. Oh yeah, and I have a HUGE phobia of needles. The doc said he could show me how to do my own – can’t see it happening. He also said he could show Hubby how to do it but I think he’d be worse at it than me. I told him my Sis, the vet tech, has offered to jab me once a day and he laughed and said he could show her how to mix the drugs.
He also said he could have the nurse at his office do it for me and leave a standing order at the hospital for them to give me the shots.

At the very least I will go to Halifax to see the specialists there and see what they recommend. I feel better just knowing I have options, I may not exercise them but at least I have options.

So while we have reached the conclusion of the Clomid Chronicles we may soon begin the FSH Follies. I think the new title is both catchy and appropriately named.

fol·lies
1. A lack of good sense, understanding, or foresight.
2.
a. An act or instance of foolishness
b. A costly undertaking having an absurd or ruinous outcome.
3. follies (used with a sing. or pl. verb) An elaborate theatrical revue consisting of music, dance, and skits.
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/follies

The Clomid Chronicles - Vol. 2, Part 1 - There not fair and then there is just playing dirty!

I am sorry to announce the second volume of the Clomid Chronicles. I am feeling a little bit resentful about this round (yes, more than usual). This is mostly because I was sure it had worked and that I would be announcing happy news. Which brings me to the title of this installment. Life is not fair, we all know this, but there is not fair and then there is just playing dirty! I know I only set myself up for disappointment by getting my hopes up but this month I was 5 DAYS late. That is a long time, I took the pregnancy tests stashed in my cupboard. (Those who have not dealt with infertility may not know this but you can buy pregnancy test strips in bulk!) Each time the test was negative - not even a hint but I told myself it may just be too soon to test. Sadly that is not the case.

I asked Hubby to go to the drugstore to pick up the Crazy Pills and he came back in a huff. They said they didn't have it, so your doctor probably didn't call it in. He asked the woman at the pharmacy if there was anything she could do since I was suppose to start the pills that night and he said the woman was really rude to him so he had stormed out. (It is not like they are prescription pain meds!)


So I called the pharmacy and got the woman on the phone, I told her my name and said that my husband had just left there and said there was some mix-up with my prescription. She snarked at me and told me she had checked everywhere and it was NOT there. So I explained that last month there was some confusion because they had filled the order as soon as the Doc called it in and it had been sitting at the cash, when I called to fill it they told me there were no refills. I asked if it was possible that this had happened again.


She assured me that she had looked already and that they filled my last prescription on June 11. Ah-ha! To told her that was the day the doc had called it in, it must be there. I explained that it would have been a full month ago that I picked up the last prescription. (A full month and 5 DAYS to be precise!) I then had the audacity to ask her to "please look again. " She assured me again that she had already looked but that she would (reluctantly) look again. "Sigh" Wait, wait, wait. "I am SO sorry, they were at the back of the drawer by the cash. Can someone be here in the next 8 minutes to pick it up before close?"


So it was off to a rocky start. When I got the prescription - on Day 2 - I looked at the label and noticed that he has bumped up the dose again. It is still 3 pills a day but for 7 days instead of 5. Yikes!


I have done my due diligence and warned my co-workers. This is after all crunch time for final reports and financial statements and STRESS + CRAZY =TROUBLE! Stay tuned!


Now here are the promised pictures from our weekend at the beach with Monkey and my FABULOUS Spring Felted Bag!




Monkey and Teecee flying a kite

Monkey helps build the fire.


We put the crab in the bucket (and touched it!)

Hubby and Monkey in the water.


In my happy place!
And now the bag!





Purple also makes me happy! Look at this bag! I love the beautifully knit roses and Laurie did a great job on the lining. I really like the handles too, it gives it a very professional look. I just can't find handles like that here. All I can really find is the bamboo circles.
Thanks again Laurie, you rock!

Off on an adventure!

Hubby and I had a wonderful anniversary. We went to a new resturant and he got me a fabulous set of bamboo knitting needles! The set has 12 pairs so I will have all the sizes I need for my crafty goodness. Thanks to everyone for all the congratulatory messages.

Last night I took my Papa his Papa's Day present - a bonzai tree. He loved it. Everything else he has tried to grow outside has been eaten by the deer including the giant buds on his peony just before they were about to open. Poor Papa!

Today we are taking the Monkey on an adventure! We are taking him with us for the weekend while we visit my in-laws. He is looking forward to digging for treasure on the beach. Unfortunately the water won't be warm enough for swimming but it looks like it will be a cloudy weekend anyway. A big thunder storm has just rolled in that will hopefully help to clear things up.

On the family front Big Bro has got himself a lawyer and will hopefully follow their advice. Lil Sis is planning her "Christmas in June" party in honour of her friend's visit home, Lil' Bro is going to fail Grade 7 - Yikes! He should have seen it coming since he hardly went to school at all this year. He kept saying that his Mom would make sure they didn't fail him. I have no doubt she tried everything in her power to make them change their minds but it looks like he'll be stuck in Middle School an extra year. Maybe it will motivate him to go to class next year.

My Father's Day call to my Dad was the usual annual disaster.
Here is the synopsis:

CC: Happy Father's Day! I haven't heard from you in a while, what's going on?

Dad: Hey guess what, They are after me for child support for your Lil' Bro but I've got it figured out and I can avoid paying for at least another year by ignoring it, playing games and dragging things out.

CC: Here are all the reasons that is a bad idea....

Dad: That's not the way it works. Besides why should I? She has lots of money.

CC: Listen to me, I am your daughter the lawyer, I write books on this for a living.

Dad: I know what I'm talking about I've been to court for child support before, you know. Besides its the principle.

CC: Yeah, well things have changed in the last 20 years and people can waste a whole lot of time and a whole lot of money on a principle.

Dad: Whatever.

CC: Well, I've got to run! Nice talking to you.

Not sure why I even bother. Lil' Sis can just listen to him rant without the need to correct him but I just can't he baits me and I can't resist. I need to work on that in the next year - is there such a thing as a Father's Day Resolution?

I just had to share the letter I received from my cousin's ten year old daughter. Last year I had given her a set of stationary, pencils, stickers and pre-addressed envelopes so we could write back and forth. She wrote a couple of times but then lost interest. I just receieved another letter from her that reads:

who is the wether up ther. it raind sunday and monday up here
say Hi to my grammey and grammps for me plesa.
I have a picter for you. oh I have a Joke
Where can you alwhas find happe nis
the anser is under the flap

(a little purple scrap of paper is taped below)
the dichsonary

Love Kendar (Kendra)
xoxoxxo
xoxoxoxoxoxxo"

I think it too cute. It is definately a keeper. I'll have to write back today so she can get her response right away.

Come Rain or Come Shine

Today Hubby and I are celebrating our 9th wedding anniversary so I’d like to begin today’s post with a little musical dedication.

Come Rain or Come Shine

I'm gonna love you like nobody's loved you come rain or come shine

High as a mountain deep as a river come rain or come shine

I guess when you met me it was just one of those things

But don't ever bet me cause I'm gonna be true if you let me

You're gonna love me like nobody's loved me come rain or come shine

Happy together, unhappy together and won't it be fine?

Days may be cloudy or sunny

We're in or we're out of the money.

But I'll love you always; I'm with you rain or shine

Rain or shine.

Harold Arlen / Johnny Mercer
As performed by Billie Holiday

Here is my version of how we met and fell in love.

I was just 18 when I met my sweetheart. I was in my first year of university and on campus over March Break to work on an assignment. I was the first (and most unlikely) of my friends to meet someone ‘online’.

Now it is important to note that this was before the internet was the internet. Most of you have probably never even heard of IRC. It was like messenger but without any graphics or interface just text. A guy I had dated earlier in the year had showed me how to use it. I had forgotten all about it by March Break.

On the night I met my future Hubby, I was in the computer lab on campus to work on an assignment of some sort. I ran into a guy who I knew through an ex-boyfriend who was in the lab typing away on IRC. I decided I had all March Break to work on my project so I got the guy to show me how to use IRC again before he left.

He showed me how to log on and put me on a channel (chat room) called ‘Canada’. The first thing that scrolled up on the screen was someone named ‘Acadian’ telling someone else that he was living in my city. What a coincidence! I wrote that I lived there too. We quickly discovered that we both went to the same university and that we were both currently on campus.

At this point I started to look around, there was only one other person in the computer lab -a tall handsome blonde boy. What are the chances! I smiled at the blonde guy and he smiled back. I asked which lab he was using and he said he was in the library. Oh well! We talked online for a while before he had to leave to catch a movie with friends and I had to get something done on my project. About an hour later the guy who signed me on earlier was back and convinced me to go back online. What do you know, there was Acadian again. Only this time he was in the same building as I was just on a different floor. Had I been alone I would have left it at that but since I had company I told him which lab I was in and suggested he come up and to join us. Turns out he had ditched his friends to try to find me.

I instantly thought he was not my type. He was really skinny and a little geeky but he was funny and obviously very smart and I thought he was a nice guy. At the end of the night when he offered me a drive home I thought he looks harmless enough and worse case scenario I’m pretty sure I can take him.

The next night I had a date with a beefy gym teacher and it turned out to be a total disaster. The highlights included a Steven Segal movie which he spent shouting at the screen and trying out his “moves” and when I bolted from the theatre at the end and hopped in a cab he tried desperately to convince me to go to his place to “see his dog.” I politely insisted on going home and watched the driver smirk as we drove off. I spent the drive home trying to keep his hands off me and when we arrived at my house I jumped out. He still had not picked up on my not so subtle clues so when he called out “Call me!” I told him not to hold his breath and slammed the door. The driver let out this loud laugh despite himself which probably cost him his tip!

I went in and relayed all the disaster details to my parents and their friends before going to play on the computer. Luckily ‘Acadian’ was back online and invited me to join him and some friends for pizza. Our first date he took me bowling and we had a lot of laughs but I insisted that he was a great guy just not my type. For example the geeky acrylic-geometric patterned sweaters were just not cool. But I had a good time and he was harmless enough.

Before long I was able to see past the acrylic sweaters and collared shirts and realized that he was kind, funny and very, very good to me. So I ditched the sweaers and kept the man. Before I knew what happened I was in love with him! (Sneaky fellow came out of nowhere!)

Four years later we were married. We’ve been through a lot in 9 years - we survived my law degree, his open heart surgery, his lengthy obsession with karaoke and three years of fertility treatments complete with Bambi-Hitler Syndrome. We have been through laugher and tears, sickness and health, richer and poorer (mostly poorer).

I can’t wait to see what the next nine years will bring!

A mixed bag of bloggy goodness.

First a SFBE Update
My Spring Bag Exchange Swapee is none other than Miss Me. Who writes me lovely and supportive notes on my rantings although we have only ever spoke online. I knew my cover would be blown when she received the first package This is because:

A) I screwed up the anonymous email and used my initial and last name when registering the "super secret" hotmail account.
B) As the only other participant from NB I knew she'd have it figured out as soon as she saw the postal code.


I found out from a mutual friend (that sly Canknitian) that she works literally right around the corner from my office so I decided to surprise her a different way. I had a handsome delivery guy (Hubby) deliver a package of goodies to her office today. We will make plans to meet sometime soon for lunch so she can receive her felted bag and we can meet face-to-face for the first time.

Secondly, a Monkey update:
Monkey and I are up to 43 books on our 100 book challenge. Yesterday at the library we read 20! This will keep me busy updating our website. After spending all evening at the library we went home to find the little brown bunny that has taken up residence under the deck having a snack in the back yard. Monkey sneaks outside and gets surprisingly close before the bunny takes off with Monkey bouncing behind him. He then gets the idea that he is going to make some sticky glue to catch that bunny. Our friend J asks him what he is going to do once he catches the bunny. Monkey doesn't hesitate "I'm gonna eated him!" he says with glee. Now this was not the answer J. (or anyone) expected but what makes it hilarious is that J. is a vegetarian and it would be the absolutely worst thing he could have suggested.

Thirdly, a sad note:
We have recently lost another soldier from our local base in Afghanistan. This is the 9th man killed since the troops left in February. He was a military photographer and someone my sister knew from his volunteer work with the animal shelter. I'm afraid it is only the beginning and only a matter of time before it is someone I know. It is incredibly sad.

On a related note - they recently the local tv station last weekend re-aired the funeral for the first 8 soldiers killed. The memorial was held on April 25th and it seems odd to me that it would be used as a time-filler on local tv. Yes, it is a local tragedy but as a family member I'm not sure I would want to be flipping by the channels and come across the funeral of my husband or brother. It just seems to be in poor taste. I have spent my whole life "near" the military but we were not a military family. Perhaps this is normal for a military funeral but it struck me as odd.

Fourthly, a good animal story!
Yesterday a young deer stormed our Legislature. The deer ran in through a side door, through the building, into the press gallery and out a window. (There were no signs the deer was hurt) The security videos are wild. This happened just across the street from my office. Hubby is now referring to the intruder as Al-Quadeer and wants to know why the deer hate our freedoms.

Finally, I'm being kidnapped by my Sis and that sly Canknitian.
Hard to say where I'll end up with those two. All I've been told is that I need to have clean undies and be prepared to not come home tomorrow night.
Should be interesting!

But why Captain America?

I'm a pretty patriotic type of gal, just this week our pilates class was interupted when my cell phone broke into a midi chorus of O'Canada, so I'm not sure why my darling little monkey has decided has to be Captain America. Now don't get me wrong Cpt. A. is a cool superhero, what with the shield and all, but why him? What could have such an strong influence on the 4 year old mind? Oh yeah, he's on his underoos!

Lil' Sis said she can not find a thing with Cpt. A. on it, and Monkey desperately NEEDS a costume. Hubby and Sis tried to convince me to make him one but my crafty canadian brain just can't imagine where I will find the time to sew a cowl with wings. Luckily for Monkey, Hubby is not so easily put off. He starts talking about how to do an easy version. He bought some iron-on transfer paper and printed out the star and stripes for the blue t-shirt he bought, he found some blue pants and shorts at the second hand store and with a little bit of design help (and threading of the sewing machine) he made a shield out of a foam cushion and some iron on stripes and stars.


The result one very happy Captain America! He has hardly taken it off all week. He even wore it to Daycare!


On an unrelated note - Happy No Pants Day one and all! We will be dropping our pants at the door for charity at today's No Pants Day BBQ. (For those who may be mislead this is in no way a nudist event. It is all pretty PG - boxers, housecoats, towels, long johns, anything but pants.) While last year the weather was a little chilly, this year it is down-right cold so our celebration of spring will likely be more of an indoor event. Either way there will be burgers, beverages and babies to squeeze so it will be a good time.

The Heaster Heggs Unt and the Heaster At

I really do admire people who are fluent in more than one language. My Hubby is one of them, he is can flip back and forth with no accent either way. He was raised in a French household but lived in English communities. It is something I just can't seem to master. Although I can read and understand a great deal of spoken French I have no ability to speak it myself. I know the words but not the grammar. That said - there is something inherently funny about accents.

I took the Monkey to an Easter story time at the library this morning. I took the morning off just for the occasion. I picked him up from his daycare to go on his first trip to the library. They had a librarian in a bunny suit (more on that later) reading stories, singing songs and doing crafts. She was great with the kids and had them all very engaged. She did however have a very thick French accent. The first story as about An Heaster Heggs Unt and every page was "Do you think this it is an heaster heggs? No, it is not an heaster heggs it is a..." The second story was about a special "Heaster at" for the Heaster parade. She did a great job but it made me chuckle. I have to give her credit, if I ever got brave enough to read a story aloud in French the audience would be rolling on the floor.

After we finished our craft and picked our books we headed back to daycare. Unfortunately they had an early lunch and so I had to get the Monkey dressed and back in the car to go for lunch at my house. There was a lot of arm twisting going on over lunch. "mmm,how about we stay at your house today?" "We could snuggle on the couch and have a nap at your house." "We had only had one half a day from daycare, let's have two half a days from daycare." It was so hard to resist! It would have been a beautiful day to spend with the Monkey but I had to go back to work.

Hubby took him to the Globetrotters game last night and they had a blast. Apparently the basketball players were cool but it was the mascot - Globey that was the big hit. I went to see "Blades of Glory" with friends. I expected nothing from it and laughed the whole way through! (The end was a little much.) It was juvenille and had an obvious plot but it also had some good laughs.

Tonight we had pilates and for the first time I sat close to the mirrored wall. I won't make that mistake again. There is nothing encouraging about watching your round little body bulge as you twist and turn. Generally, I can imagine that I am much more graceful than I actually appear. I usually can relax and focus on the movements but tonight I was distracted and kept thinking "My God, you really are a round little butterball! - Good grief are my boobs really that big!"

On the upside I did keep thinking that I liked my new haircut.

If 25 is old what does that make me?

So I've not caused any physical harm today. (Although I think Hubby is developing a twitch!) I did resist the urge to leave a nasty voicemail at my Dr's office. (Why am I getting a message at 2:00 which says they will be answering the phones from 1:30-4:00 and to please call back during during that time?) and I decided to wait another day or two to comment on the "work" the student sent me.

While I didn't actually say anything to The Ostrich yesterday I think she got the impression when I left at lunch and didn't come back that I was irritated. I all but locked myself in my office. Unfortunately the manic phase has given way to a heavy sadness.

I tried to search again online for someone who is going through the same struggles with infertility that I am. I just can't find anyone in the same boat, the people on the forums and blogs are much further down the treatment road then I am. Having a signature with the endless list of failed treatments and IVF's is just so depressing.

I just can't identify with the people who are willing to put their bodies through hell for years on end on the ever slimming chance they will get pregnant. I'm just not there. While I would love to have a pregancy, I am very open to adoption. Hubby is the "try every possible medical option first and use adoption as a last resort" type.

Hubby and I stopped trying to NOT have a baby when we were married nearly 9 years ago. We weren't concerned about not getting pregnant because of law school, articles and his heart surgery. We have been trying drug treatments on and off for nearly 3 years and while the Clomid works for most women (80% ovulate and 80% of them conceive)I am the exception that proves the rule.

The only women I found who were at the same stage as I am were 24 and 25, they had each been married 2 years and were lamenting that their time was running out. Good grief, if they are too old to get pregnant what chance does a 31 year old geezer like me stand? 25 year old simply do not have the right to complain about being old.

I understand the pressure to get pregnant right after you get married. It is what comes next, I remember feeling like that was just the next logical step, you get married and then you get the baby. My family to called the day I returned from my honeymoon to asked if I was pregnant yet - it had been 2 weeks. My MIL laments that she has ONLY been waiting 10 YEARS for a baby. At this rate she'd be better off trying to have another baby herself.

Sorry folks, that post just seemed to get away on me. I didn't mention my inability to focus but I'm sure you've gotten the picture by now.

Have no fear folks - this too shall pass. I will soon be back to my saner, craftier old self.

Sugarbushed

Last night the Monkey had his birthday sleepover at our house. We did our best to get him to bed at a reasonable time because he had a whole weekend of fun planned to celebrate his 4th birthday. At 8:30 we all got our jammies on and went to bed. Hubby read him the book "The Hockey Sweater" three times before showing him the National Film Board short film (you know the one, where the little boy prays for God to send him a hundred million moths to eat up his Leaf's jersey).

We were all tucked in, lights out by just after 9 - so far so good. He had slept for about 10 minutes when the phone rang. Because he had a whole 10 minutes of sleep he was ready to stay up all night! It took a little convincing and a lot of "playing dead" to convince him it was still sleep time. This is harder than you think when he is singing "This is Teecee's song, and I am singing a song for teecee and she is the fairest of them alllll, and the prettiest of them allllll, and these are teecee's eyes, and this is teecee's hair..." I just wanted to scoop him up and give him a thousand kisses. The adoration of a four year old is great for the Clomid Crazies.


"One stick of pure sugar please!"

This morning we were off to Sugar Bush! The hungry little monkey ate a lumberjack sized breakfast before we went to get our maple candy fresh from the snow. We ate pure sugar, stompped through mud and puddles, ran in and out of the barns, had a wagon ride and learned all about making pottery from mud and clay before heading home.

Hubby and Monkey

What is it about boys and puddles?

We dropped Hubby at the house before heading to visit with Grammy and Grampy where we told stories, played with the cat, went to the garden centre and then to visit his godmother's new house. We got home just in time to see Hubby off to work, had a peanutbutter sandwich and by the time Lil Sis came to collect him we were officially sugarbushed!

13 years and counting...

Hubby and I celebrated the 13th anniversary of our first date last night.
He worked late, I had Pilates,
He booked our upcoming weekend getaway, I knit,
We went to our favourite pub and had the usual,
We came home and he watched his shows while I fell asleep on the couch.
All in all a very exciting night.