Well another month has flown by. I can't believe it, while my concerns about being childless at Christmas were all I could think about last month, this month brought a whole new category of drama and I have hardly had time to think about anything.
Two weeks ago at 4:00 am I woke Hubby up because I had a dream that he had died suddenly of complications from his heart condition. I was crying when I woke up and the dream was so real his snoring in the bed beside me actually startled me. I woke him up in the dead of night to tell him I was glad he wasn't dead. He mumbled something about also being glad he was not dead and drifted back to sleep.
In the morning I got up and went to the market, got my hair done and went shopping for something fabulous to wear to Hubby's work party. I told my friend about my dream and she assured me that it meant good things for the person I had dreamt of. When I told her how upset I was the night before we joked that it was probably a good thing that after so long I still wanted him around. When I got home Hubby was making himself a light lunch and after we relaxed on the couch and watched TV. I told him again that I was glad he was still alive. Twenty minutes later we were rushing to the hospital.
Hubby has had heart problems since he was 12 and 5 years ago we went to Toronto for open heart surgery to remove an overgrown muscle blocking 85% of the blood flow. His heart function was immediately improved and after a lengthy recovery he was better than ever. After 16 years he was off all heart medication and feeling great.
Two weeks ago things changed suddenly. Hubby was saying something was wrong with his heart and was beginning to panic. We were very use to being in and out of hospital and so I quickly got him dressed, put him in the car and drove to the emergency. Fortunately we live only 8 minutes away, when we arrived I parked the car outside the ER doors and helped him inside the doors where we got help immediately. I handed him off to the nurses, told them he had hypertrophic cardiomyopathy and went to move the car. When I came back there were 8 nurses and doctors hovered over him and his pulse was 273. It was beating erratically and racing out of control.
After a couple of hours, I called my parents and they came to the hospital and waited outside the ICU. It took all night and a lot of medication to finally get it within a normal range. At one point they prepared to shock his heart with the defibrillator to reset the rhythm, fortunately they did not have to resort to that. Although I was very worried, I was incredibly calm. I was in "The Zone", there was a lot going on, a lot of new information to take in and I knew I had to be calm and clear.
After a couple of days in Cardiac Care they were able to get his heart rate under control with the medication but the test result were very negative. There were half a dozen serious problems with the heart that had developed as a result of his condition. Any one of them would have been cause for concern. They said it was fortunate that his heart had given him a warning and not simply shut down. They told us he would eventually need a heart transplant but they were going to see what they could do in the meantime. We waited in hospital a few more days until they could get us to a hospital with a cardiac care centre.
He arrived at the new hospital by ambulance last Tuesday afternoon and within a few hours they told him they were going to be taking him at 7:30 am for surgery. The next morning they implanted a defibrillator inside his chest to reset the heart if the rhythm got out of control or to restart heart if it stopped beating. Unlike a pacemaker that delivers a slight and constant message to the heart, this one packs more of a punch and only kicks in when the heart is in crisis.
Fortunately he came through with flying colours. The surgery went very well, they tested the device to ensure that it was working properly and by Thursday afternoon he was ready to come home. He will have a long recovery with 6wks to 6 months of no driving and 4-6 weeks of not lifting his hands above his shoulders.
He is now referring to himself as the $30,000 man although because we live in Canada the total cost to us for the device plus surger, hospital stay, ambulance etc. was $0.00. His work even covered my hotel stay and most of my meals. My biggest expenses were gas and parking.
We are so happy to be home for Christmas. We didn't think it would be possible and while being home has a whole other set of challenges (I'm exhausted already) it is great to be home and with family for Christmas. We will have a low key celebration this year. I am going to miss having a tree and having decorations but it is just too much work with everything else to be done.
So far I've been doing great at keeping it together, through all the bad news and surgery I have been calm and together, with just a few minor cracks. I was like this when he had his operation five years ago and I know it is just a matter of time before I fall to pieces but it will not likely be until he has been given the all clear by his docs. If he has to go through this every 5 years to replace the device we may get very good at adapting to it all. He has always had heart problems but they were more gradual and progressive, the complications are now far greater and more imminent than they were before.
We are very thankful for our wonderful friends and family who have been so supportive. They have offered help in every way since he first landed in the hospital. Last night someone dropped off a curry chicken which was fantastic because it means I did not have to cook. While we have not had a lot of visitors because everyone is gone for the holidays, we have had lots of emails and calls from our friends and family. We are so lucky to have them all!
To all my online pals, Happy Holidays and best wishes for a happy and healthy 2008!
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Monday, December 3, 2007
November in a Nutshell
Just another rollercoaster month. If you have read this blog with any regularity you know that silence usually means all is good or I’m keeping secrets. This month was a bit of both.
If you thought dressing up was just for Halloween, you don’t hang out with the right crowd. We were off to Halifax for our Grease-theme prom. I was the best dancer from St. Bernadette’s (with the worst reputation). Hubby went in a powder blue tuxedo and taped up glasses. We danced the night away despite the snowstorm. The rest of the weekend Canknitian and I did a whole lot of shopping. We bought clothes, yarn and candy from Freak Lunchbox. I bought a pattern and alpaca to make thrummed mittens.
Another favourite find was the Trichomania solid shampoo from Lush. Love it!
The next weekend was the 70’s theme dance for the local animal shelter. We usually go as a big crowd and have a lot of fun. Our two tables came away with more than our share of the prizes (authentic 70’s items like pole lamps, hockey trivia games, and string art). Sadly no one at our table one the sectional sofa with built in bar.
Work has been crazy with lots and lots to do. Sadly my partner lost her father and will be out of work for a while. My heart goes out to her and her family, she was just engaged and making plans for a wedding and it is too hard to deal with a death in the family this time of year. I’ve discovered how much I need her, without her here to vent with I’m getting short tempered and actually had a huge argument with my boss on Friday. On the plus side, by the time she gets back she and I may both have significant raises. (That’s just the kind of friend I am.)
My little brother is in trouble, again. This time he is being questioned about a broken lamppost at the entrance to the subdivision. Of course, no one thought to contact me, I’m just the only one in the family with a law degree and an expertise in youth justice. Naturally it is more important to sweep it under the carpet and pretend that nothing is wrong. Why is it that people still don’t understand that I always find this stuff out?
My Big Bro has started a new job and is moving to town and seems to be doing well. Lil’ Sis is a dog groomer so she’ll be busy until Christmas making all the pups beautiful.
Monkey and I have been regularly going to the library and he is doing really well with his reading and writing. (I’m so proud!)
Monkey is wild waiting for Santa! We took him to the Christmas parade last week and the next day he got his picture taken with Santa. Sis said he whispered with Santa for 10 minutes back and forth and when he got down Santa said “That little boy is the next Prime Minister!” He still won’t tell us what he said to him only that he didn’t ask for anything because Santa already knows what he wants.
On the secret side of things, we were given renewed hope on the out of province adoption. We were kind of hoping for a big Christmas announcement that things were underway. The family was pushing for us on the NS side and was told that they would look into the process of an interprovincial adoption for us.
Surprise, surprise, another disappointment, the case worker called today to say that when she started asking questions she was told they would not be willing to consider an out of province placement for the little girl, despite the family’s wishes. I guess nothing is ever easy when you can get pregnant.
Now it will be a matter of holding my breath and trying to get through the “Season for Families with Children.” I’m sure others can relate, once there are grandchildren in the family and your friends start having kids Christmas is never the same. I am very tempted to take an advance on my vacation for next year and spend the next three weeks holed up at home celebrating the “hard liquor season” instead. Here’s a tip for instantly identifying the infertile couples at your coming Christmas parties – look for the people drinking rum and eggnog from the carton and making light of the fact they don’t have to get up with the kids in the morning.
Luckily I have most of my Christmas shopping done and wrapped, and I will be gathering up the last the items for the transition house in the next two weeks.
If you thought dressing up was just for Halloween, you don’t hang out with the right crowd. We were off to Halifax for our Grease-theme prom. I was the best dancer from St. Bernadette’s (with the worst reputation). Hubby went in a powder blue tuxedo and taped up glasses. We danced the night away despite the snowstorm. The rest of the weekend Canknitian and I did a whole lot of shopping. We bought clothes, yarn and candy from Freak Lunchbox. I bought a pattern and alpaca to make thrummed mittens.
Another favourite find was the Trichomania solid shampoo from Lush. Love it!
The next weekend was the 70’s theme dance for the local animal shelter. We usually go as a big crowd and have a lot of fun. Our two tables came away with more than our share of the prizes (authentic 70’s items like pole lamps, hockey trivia games, and string art). Sadly no one at our table one the sectional sofa with built in bar.
Work has been crazy with lots and lots to do. Sadly my partner lost her father and will be out of work for a while. My heart goes out to her and her family, she was just engaged and making plans for a wedding and it is too hard to deal with a death in the family this time of year. I’ve discovered how much I need her, without her here to vent with I’m getting short tempered and actually had a huge argument with my boss on Friday. On the plus side, by the time she gets back she and I may both have significant raises. (That’s just the kind of friend I am.)
My little brother is in trouble, again. This time he is being questioned about a broken lamppost at the entrance to the subdivision. Of course, no one thought to contact me, I’m just the only one in the family with a law degree and an expertise in youth justice. Naturally it is more important to sweep it under the carpet and pretend that nothing is wrong. Why is it that people still don’t understand that I always find this stuff out?
My Big Bro has started a new job and is moving to town and seems to be doing well. Lil’ Sis is a dog groomer so she’ll be busy until Christmas making all the pups beautiful.
Monkey and I have been regularly going to the library and he is doing really well with his reading and writing. (I’m so proud!)
Monkey is wild waiting for Santa! We took him to the Christmas parade last week and the next day he got his picture taken with Santa. Sis said he whispered with Santa for 10 minutes back and forth and when he got down Santa said “That little boy is the next Prime Minister!” He still won’t tell us what he said to him only that he didn’t ask for anything because Santa already knows what he wants.
On the secret side of things, we were given renewed hope on the out of province adoption. We were kind of hoping for a big Christmas announcement that things were underway. The family was pushing for us on the NS side and was told that they would look into the process of an interprovincial adoption for us.
Surprise, surprise, another disappointment, the case worker called today to say that when she started asking questions she was told they would not be willing to consider an out of province placement for the little girl, despite the family’s wishes. I guess nothing is ever easy when you can get pregnant.
Now it will be a matter of holding my breath and trying to get through the “Season for Families with Children.” I’m sure others can relate, once there are grandchildren in the family and your friends start having kids Christmas is never the same. I am very tempted to take an advance on my vacation for next year and spend the next three weeks holed up at home celebrating the “hard liquor season” instead. Here’s a tip for instantly identifying the infertile couples at your coming Christmas parties – look for the people drinking rum and eggnog from the carton and making light of the fact they don’t have to get up with the kids in the morning.
Luckily I have most of my Christmas shopping done and wrapped, and I will be gathering up the last the items for the transition house in the next two weeks.
Monday, November 5, 2007
October in a nutshell
Where did October go?
I have also been at my sewing machine working on a beautiful prom dress. Next weekend is our annual “prom” weekend. Friends host a yearly theme party and this year it is a 50’s Prom in Halifax. While I would not usually go to such great lengths for a theme party, I was able to get a great deal on the fabric and pattern when a fabric store went out of business and I think the dress could easily be used again on New Year’s or some other event. I will post pictures when I finish mine later this week but here is the pattern:
Thanksgiving gave me the opportunity to make one of my favourite cakes – Princeton Orange Cake. We had a large family gathering with 15 for dinner. Later that week Monkey and I made apple crisp with apples we picked ourselves. We had a great time picking apples again and the Cortlands were finally ready! My sis has discovered that if you make a chunky applesauce with cinnamon, sprinkle granola on top and toss in it the microwave for a bit it tastes like apple crisp. Yummy! I have been eating a lot of “apple crisp” for breakfast.
Hubby and I went to a friend’s Halloween house party. There were a lot of great costumes. My friend and I went as inmates at a Women’s Prison, I would post the pictures but I’m afraid there are already far too many unflattering photos of me in my prison orange dress floating around out there. Yikes!
I have been collecting goodies for the ladies at the transition house and my spare room is starting to fill up with items for the 8 Christmas gift baskets. I will have to start checking my list to see who I have left to buy for this Christmas. We have managed to get a Guitar Hero game for my little brother and he will soooo excited. Hubby bought a copy for the Wii and we have been playing it quite a bit. It is a lot of fun.
Wow, I can’t believe how long it has been since I have updated my blog. There has been a lot going on and I just can’t believe that it is already November. The missing month has had some ups and some downs and I will try to catch you up as quickly as possible. The key word for October has been BUSY!
Let’s get the bad stuff right out of the way.
Halloween kicked off what is sadly become a string of funerals. Last week began with the loss of my Great Uncle, the funeral was on Wednesday. Thursday, a group of girls traveled out of town to support a friend at her grandmother’s funeral, and Friday my cousin’s partner committed suicide leaving her a single mother to their young son. I also found out my grandmother is not well and will not strong enough to undergo the surgery required to save her life. While, she is technically my “ex-step-grandmother” she has been a grandparent to me since I was 8 years old. She lives with my “ex-stepmother” and my little brother and the coming months will be very hard on all of them.
I think part of the reason I have been avoiding updating my blog is that I was really hoping to have some good news. I must start by saying I am feeling much more like myself now that all of the fertility drugs are out of my system. I am not so easily upset and feel sane again. Although I think Christmas will still be a challenge, I am beginning to accept that life will go on with out a pregnancy.
This acceptance was spurred on by the fact that Hubby and I were approached about a private adoption. We kept our fingers crossed; our lips sealed and tried not to get our hopes up too much. Sadly, in taking the time to weigh their options the family let things get too and the girl is now in protective custody. Private adoption is no longer an option and an inter-provincial adoption would be complicated and too lengthy to be in the girl’s best interest. While we completely understand how and why things worked out the way they have, Hubby and I can’t help but be disappointed, both for the girl and for ourselves.
So eventually it will be back to the drawing board to consider the rest of our options, in the meantime November does not show any signs of slowing down and we will likely be full-tilt until the New Year.
Work has been very hectic and I am currently writing three publications which have to be printed by January, including the rewrite of a 100 page book. So far things are chugging along but I have not had a spare moment. I have also been preparing for workshops on reporting forms for charities – thrilling stuff. My first workshop was on Friday and you know it is bad when you nearly put yourself to sleep.
I have been practicing many of my unmarketable skills in the last month. I did a wedding cake for a fall wedding. I don’t often do cakes for people I don’t know but I was asked by my cousin and despite my concerns, the bride and groom were both thrilled with the way it turned out. I wish I had better pictures but these should give you a general idea.
Let’s get the bad stuff right out of the way.
Halloween kicked off what is sadly become a string of funerals. Last week began with the loss of my Great Uncle, the funeral was on Wednesday. Thursday, a group of girls traveled out of town to support a friend at her grandmother’s funeral, and Friday my cousin’s partner committed suicide leaving her a single mother to their young son. I also found out my grandmother is not well and will not strong enough to undergo the surgery required to save her life. While, she is technically my “ex-step-grandmother” she has been a grandparent to me since I was 8 years old. She lives with my “ex-stepmother” and my little brother and the coming months will be very hard on all of them.
I think part of the reason I have been avoiding updating my blog is that I was really hoping to have some good news. I must start by saying I am feeling much more like myself now that all of the fertility drugs are out of my system. I am not so easily upset and feel sane again. Although I think Christmas will still be a challenge, I am beginning to accept that life will go on with out a pregnancy.
This acceptance was spurred on by the fact that Hubby and I were approached about a private adoption. We kept our fingers crossed; our lips sealed and tried not to get our hopes up too much. Sadly, in taking the time to weigh their options the family let things get too and the girl is now in protective custody. Private adoption is no longer an option and an inter-provincial adoption would be complicated and too lengthy to be in the girl’s best interest. While we completely understand how and why things worked out the way they have, Hubby and I can’t help but be disappointed, both for the girl and for ourselves.
So eventually it will be back to the drawing board to consider the rest of our options, in the meantime November does not show any signs of slowing down and we will likely be full-tilt until the New Year.
Work has been very hectic and I am currently writing three publications which have to be printed by January, including the rewrite of a 100 page book. So far things are chugging along but I have not had a spare moment. I have also been preparing for workshops on reporting forms for charities – thrilling stuff. My first workshop was on Friday and you know it is bad when you nearly put yourself to sleep.
I have been practicing many of my unmarketable skills in the last month. I did a wedding cake for a fall wedding. I don’t often do cakes for people I don’t know but I was asked by my cousin and despite my concerns, the bride and groom were both thrilled with the way it turned out. I wish I had better pictures but these should give you a general idea.
I have also been at my sewing machine working on a beautiful prom dress. Next weekend is our annual “prom” weekend. Friends host a yearly theme party and this year it is a 50’s Prom in Halifax. While I would not usually go to such great lengths for a theme party, I was able to get a great deal on the fabric and pattern when a fabric store went out of business and I think the dress could easily be used again on New Year’s or some other event. I will post pictures when I finish mine later this week but here is the pattern:
Thanksgiving gave me the opportunity to make one of my favourite cakes – Princeton Orange Cake. We had a large family gathering with 15 for dinner. Later that week Monkey and I made apple crisp with apples we picked ourselves. We had a great time picking apples again and the Cortlands were finally ready! My sis has discovered that if you make a chunky applesauce with cinnamon, sprinkle granola on top and toss in it the microwave for a bit it tastes like apple crisp. Yummy! I have been eating a lot of “apple crisp” for breakfast.
Hubby and I went to a friend’s Halloween house party. There were a lot of great costumes. My friend and I went as inmates at a Women’s Prison, I would post the pictures but I’m afraid there are already far too many unflattering photos of me in my prison orange dress floating around out there. Yikes!
I have been collecting goodies for the ladies at the transition house and my spare room is starting to fill up with items for the 8 Christmas gift baskets. I will have to start checking my list to see who I have left to buy for this Christmas. We have managed to get a Guitar Hero game for my little brother and he will soooo excited. Hubby bought a copy for the Wii and we have been playing it quite a bit. It is a lot of fun.
Some November good news!
My cousin finally had her baby boy and both are healthy and happy. He has beautiful red hair and 5 names. K.P.R.M.W. is going to make even initialing something a chore.
My cousin finally had her baby boy and both are healthy and happy. He has beautiful red hair and 5 names. K.P.R.M.W. is going to make even initialing something a chore.
My little brother was in town this weekend to accept his Chief Scout Award from the "Left-handed" Governor. (Lieutenant Governor). The award ceremony was held at the Legislature and there was a reception at the "Left-handed" Governor's home. I was very proud of him, I gave him the only gift I could be sure a 13 year old boy would appreciate - money.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
Thanks for stopping in! - CC
