Home again - but not for long!

I know I promised pictures and I will post some eventually. The rest of our trip was fantastic. We had dinner at the hotel's revolving restaurant with friends from Quebec City who were also in Montreal for the week. Since they will not be able to make it to the birthday weekend we were glad to have some time with them. We also spent a day at the botanical gardens where I got lots of great pictures. Hubby was laughing at me because gardens make me happy and relaxed. I am not a big city girl, its nice to visit but I was much more relaxed at the gardens. Unfortunately for Hubby that meant I was in no hurry and we spent several hours there. We also went to the Insectarium and spent the afternoon at the Biodome. It was a hot day and unfortunately I got a bad sunburn.

On Wednesday night Canknitian and Hubby went to see The Police at the Bell Centre and I went to church. Yes, you did read that right. My hubby, the catholic, went to a concert and I, the heathen, went to the basilica. I laughed the whole time I was dressing for church. I said that someone is likely to have a heart attack if word gets out that I went to church all on my own. Hubby said it would probably be God. The Notre-Dame Basilica has a "sound and light show" and I really wanted to see the inside. The show was a little cheesy but it did a great job of showcasing each part of the church and helping you focus on details would otherwise be overwhelming. After the show we could walk around and take pictures, it was very dark and my camera is not the greatest. (A problem soon to be remedied as my birthday approaches.)

Thursday morning we were preparing to check out and head to Ikea (aka the happiest place on earth) when the power went out. Hubby had just left to take the first load of bags to the car when the power went. We were sure he would be stuck in the elevator when he didn't come back to the room. After a bit we called the desk and asked if there was anyone in the elevator. Hubby wouldn't go on the rides at La Ronde and was likely to not be having any fun if he was stuck in the elevator. They assured us that everyone was out, eventually Hubby called to say he was in the lobby. He had made it down the hotel elevator and had his finger on the button for the tiny, smelly elevator to the parking garage when the power went. The power outage did mean a delay in getting checked out but it ended up saving us $100 in parking fees at the garage. When Hubby was waiting in the lobby there were some hotel staff escorting people who had flights to catch to their cars. Hubby tagged along and because the power was out they were simply letting people leave. SWEET! Turns out half of downtown Montreal was without power for quite a while.

Ikea was all I dreamed it would be. I bought so much for the Monkey on this trip, why should I stop at Ikea. When Sis bought her house last year I painted a castle in Monkey's room. On our trip to Alberta I bought him a big dragon, a hobby horse and knights helmet and a dragon fleece blanket, all at Ikea. This trip I bought him the bedspread with knights and dragons and a really cool mirror that looks like a shuttered castle window. He loved it naturally and like the little obsessive compulsive he is he showed us exactly where he wants it hung. The bedspread couldn't be a better match for his room and it is not too babyish so it will grow with him.

Because of the late start we were very late getting home. I spent a good part of Friday at Sis' shop, telling her all about the giant rollercoasters I was on. She wouldn't have believed it if I didn't have the photos. I picked up Monkey from daycare and he was so excited to see us! I also had a visit with both of my grandmothers and helped Sis decorate a cake for a friend's bachelorette. I'll spare you the details.

Yesterday I cleaned a bit in the kitchen and got caught up on Big Love when it got too hot to do anything else. I had a call from Big Bro who informed me that he had quit his job and had just flown back to NB and was coming to town to visit his new girlfriend. He sure moves fast. He did get to see Mouse and his long lost son while he was out west. He would like to bring his son home to meet everyone at the end of the month.

Next weekend is the big birthday bash! I can hardly wait, we will have about 30 of our closest friends together for the weekend. Everyone is excited about the trip and there are a lot of people who will be going for the first time. But first I have to get ready for 4 LONG days of work before my next week off.

Dans le belle provance

Bonjour à tous ! J'ai beaucoup d'amusement au Québec.
(Hello everyone! I am having a lot of fun in Quebec)

I wish I could say my French has improved since I got here but I am finding it hard to catch about 25% of what is being said. Most places have bilingual staff who are happy to speak to you in English, and my two travelling companions are both bilingual.

We are having a blast! On Saturday we went to two comedy shows for the Just for Laugh's Festival. We went to the Master's Show, hosted by Lewis Black and then to the Comedy Night in Canada show which was awesome! Hubby got to have his picture taken at the old Montreal Canadian's Forum (which has sadly now been turned into a theatre and mall.)

On Sunday I met up with Canknitian and her sister and we were off to La Ronde, a Six Flags Park. I was determined to be a good sport but was not sure how my nerves would hold up. I did quite well considering the only rides I declined to go on were ones that make you go upside down. I even went on the biggest ride there The Goliath, twice and started the day with the big, creaky, wooden roller coaster - Le Monstre. It was expensive but a lot of fun. We ate bad for us food and went on a bunch of rides before rushing back to the hotel to get ready for the grande finale. Hubby opted out of the park in favour of seeing more of the comedy festival. Here is his grand debut at the Saint Denis Theatre.

The 25th Anniversary All-Star Gala was great. I was a little disappointed that Lewis Black did the same material both nights but the show was hilarious. Tommy Tiernan did a bit about women and Princess Mental Syndrome, which can be hit or miss. A definite hit, he nailed, he basically reenacted the conversation Hubby and I have once a month that begins with "I have no clothes, these aren't clothes, they don't make clothes for me anymore, just for skinny bitches!"
Hubby and I were in tears laughing!

Monday we toured Old Montreal. It is beautiful with the cobblestone streets and ornate architecture. We bought a Museum Pass which gives us access to over 30 museums for 3 days and unlimited metro. A great deal for $45. We spent the rest of the day at the Montreal Science Centre where we played with lots of stuff and saw an IMAX Movie about the Alps.
We went for a stroll in the evening, had a late supper, and then hit the hay!

Yesterday we had a late start and met up with Canknitian's blogging friend for a day at the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts. They have a fantastic Emily Carr exhibit. We spent longer at the Museum than we intended but it was worth it. I also purchased a FABULOUS ring in the gift shop. I am in love, and it doesn't even have diamonds. I will have to post a photo. Nadine was terrific, she is an artist who makes crocheted jewelry, and she gave us lots of great tips on what we should see and eat while we are here.

Well I have to get ready for another fun filled day so I will fill you in on the rest of the trip a little later! Only one more sleep until Ikea!

And we're off!

It is 5:45 and we are just about ready to leave on our 8 hr drive to Montreal. While we would like to poke around a bit on our way there we can't take too long to get there as we have tickets to the Just for Laugh's show tonight. We are also going to attend the Final Gala tomorrow night.

Canknitian thinks she is going to get me on some Six Flags rollercoasters but I'm not sure it will happen. I think I would have fun if I got on but I overthink it and chicken out. I have not been on a big rollercoaster since I was 12 and we went on Thunder Mountain at Disney World. I sat in the very first cart between my grandparents. My grandmother and I screamed the whole time but thought in the end it was okay. My grandfather closed his eyes and said nothing, when we asked him if he would go again he just shook his head.

I'll be checking in along the way to tell you all about the fun I'm having.

P.S. Thanks for worrying NH Knitting Mama and thanks to Miss Me for the nomination as a Rockin' Girl Blogger! I love it!

That was quick!

It is all happening so quickly. I expected a couple of months wait before I got an appointment with the fertility clinic in Halifax but they called today and said they wanted to book me for next week. Fortunately/unfortunately I will be in Montreal with Canknitian and Hubby next week. They also tried to book me on either side of the long weekend which is not going to work because it is the weekend for the big birthday beach bash. So after a bit of back and forth we were able to book the appointment for August 16th.

I know it probably didn’t sound to them like I was a woman desperate to have a baby but I really wasn’t prepared for it to be this quick. I need more time to talk myself into the whole thing. I’m not sure I can do it, the shots, the expense, the super crazy. None of it sounds like any fun! I was just saying last night how nice it was to not feel crazy, I feel more like myself than I have in 3 years! I also have also not been preoccupied obsessing over it all. Oh well, I guess that was short lived because my mind is racing today.

Last weekend we went back up to the in-law’s to help out in the set up for the long weekend. They didn’t let us do much but we did get the two screen houses up and a bench brought up from the basement. I say “we” but unfortunately “I” did not do any of it. Friday night I fell asleep on the loveseat and have been paying for it ever since. I am hoping my back will right itself before our trip to Montreal this weekend, it will be a long 8 hours otherwise.

Sis and Monkey had a great time with us at the beach. Surprisingly the water was warm enough to swim. We had a tiny little fire to roast some marshmallows and watched the neighbours burn everything else that had washed up on shore. Four men from the community were having a farewell party before they left for Afghanistan and in their honour they piled every piece of driftwood on the beach into a giant fire! It was probably the second biggest fire we’ve seen there. The first being the time they set blaze to an old fishing boat that had been hauled up from the bay.

I also hit the mother of all fabric sales on the weekend. The store was going out of business and everything was 75% off. While it was pretty picked over I still managed to get 12 patterns and material for 7 outfits. That does not include the 2 dresses my MIL has commissioned. Looks like I have my work cut out for me!

Busy Week

It just never seems to slow down, I just finish my year end reports and I have to dive right into finding funding for this year. Ah, non-profit life. Why did I decide not to go into private practice? Money woes aside things are going well, the new staff have jumped right in and seem to be working out great.

Monkey and I have had two play dates this week, including tonight's trip to the library. Tomorrow we are heading back to the in-law's to prepare for the up coming Birthday Beach Bash Extravaganza! Lil' Sis and Monkey will be coming with us to do some beach combing.

It looks like we will have over 30 of our closest pals join us for the beach party. Because my FIL has a broken paw we will be going to set up the screen house, the outdoor shower etc. It promises to be a wild time. We have all of the regulars and a whole bunch of newbies at the Club Med of the North. In honour of my FIL, this year's slogan is "Break a Leg!"

I am more excited about the birthday weekend than I am about my trip to Monteal. Although I have to say I am thrilled that we got tickets to see Lewis Black!

The FSH Follies(?) - Preface

Some good news – at last! All of your good vibes must have done something. Hubby and I had a long week and a long evening last night. We went to dinner with my cousins and Sis, they all have young children so naturally the conversation was about kids. We made it through the evening but we were exhausted when we got home. I was unwinding in front of the tv when Hubby calls from upstairs.
He: “You have to come up and see this!”
Me: “Sigh” (He says this at least once a night!)
He: No really, it is not like the other times I told you to come see this, I mean you really have to come see this.

He had stopped to check his email before bed and there was an email from his insurance company. Apparently the other day when he called and left a message, he also sent an email to the company before they returned his call. The person who called was not at all helpful and told him they did not cover any fertility treatment.

When he wrote the email, he had asked not only about IVF but also about the coverage for the drugs. The email we got back said that they will cover 80% of all my drugs including the injections of FSH! They won’t cover the needles, appointments or any procedures but the drugs alone are $1000-2000/month. $200-$400 a month is still a lot but it is doable.

Can I get a WHO-HOOO!

What is even better is that because I live in beautiful, wonderful Canada most everything else is covered by Medicare. My doctor here will be administering the program and arranging for my ultrasounds etc. so they will be covered by Medicare. This does not include invitro but hopefully it won’t come to that!

I’m still not 100% convinced I want to do the shots, that could mean a whole new level of crazy. Oh yeah, and I have a HUGE phobia of needles. The doc said he could show me how to do my own – can’t see it happening. He also said he could show Hubby how to do it but I think he’d be worse at it than me. I told him my Sis, the vet tech, has offered to jab me once a day and he laughed and said he could show her how to mix the drugs.
He also said he could have the nurse at his office do it for me and leave a standing order at the hospital for them to give me the shots.

At the very least I will go to Halifax to see the specialists there and see what they recommend. I feel better just knowing I have options, I may not exercise them but at least I have options.

So while we have reached the conclusion of the Clomid Chronicles we may soon begin the FSH Follies. I think the new title is both catchy and appropriately named.

fol·lies
1. A lack of good sense, understanding, or foresight.
2.
a. An act or instance of foolishness
b. A costly undertaking having an absurd or ruinous outcome.
3. follies (used with a sing. or pl. verb) An elaborate theatrical revue consisting of music, dance, and skits.
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/follies

The Clomid Chronicles - Vol. 2, Part 4 - The end

This is the end of the Clomid Chronicles, I've finished my last round and barring a miracle in the next few weeks I will not be having a child. I have a wicked case of 'poor me' with a whole lot of "what the hell did I do to deserve this" It is clouding everything and things I would normally take great joy in are just heartbreaking.

I forced myself to keep my weekly library night with the Monkey, its not fair to him to cancel. We are all but 3 books away from our goal of 100 books. I had thought about planning party for the occasion but I'm not feeling festive. I will do something for him but I just can't get excited about it myself. I can't help but feel like I am some pathetic barren aunt with no children of her own so she spoils someone else's kids. Next I'll be adopting 50 cats!

In other good news, on the day I have to give up my hope of a baby, my brother has kids coming out of the woodwork. He tells me that he has finally found his 13 year old son. He knew he had a son but he and the mother had split up when she was pregnant and she wanted to raise him on her own. My brother is only 2 years older than me and he "officially" has three children. He has also reunited with the Mouse's mom.

If you are trying to track the family tree you may get lost in the forest. My "new" nephew is the oldest of my nephew and nieces, he is the same age as my youngest brother and only a few months older than his little sister (don't ask) and 11 years older than his youngest sister (Mouse). In an odd coincidence he is exactly the same age my brother was when he found our father.

Like I said, at another time I would be overjoyed, I am happy for both of them. I have often wondered about him and if I would ever have the chance to meet him. I know it has nothing to do with me but it just feels like another painful reminder that I am the only one in my family who cannot have children. With a number of cousins with due dates in the next few months this will only get harder.

I'm tired of listening to myself mope, kudos to those of you who have read along through the chronicles. I really appreciate the supportive notes, they do help.

The Clomid Chronicles - Vol. 2, Part 3 - Bad News

What a bad, bad, crumby, miserable day. I was right about the Doctor's news - it was all bad. It appears the next few days will mark the end of the Clomid Chronicles. Apparently, I am 1% of his patients that have not had success on these drugs. He told me I was just a tough cookie and the drugs have had little or no impact on my bloodwork. Wile it will be nice to be myself again, eventually, it means the end of the road for my fertility treatments.

Our insurance will not cover any injectable hormones or any IVF treatments. We could afford to do a couple of months but it would mean some serious life changes, set back out house buying plans and cost us thousands of dollars a month on a chance. I'm not sure it is even worth going for the consultation.

Hubby is taking it hard and both of us have been miserable today. I cried at work, in the car, at the doctor's, at home, at pilates, and even at the ice cream parlor. Its is a sad state of affairs when ice cream can't cheer me up. I tried to avoid the two new staff members as best I could with out coming across as rude.

I'm off to bed to finally end the day.

The Clomid Chronicles - Vol. 2, Part 2 - Bracing myself.

This round I have kept myself quite busy and this has helped a lot. Having no time to wallow does it. I have been run ragged at work, I was even in over the long weekend trying to put the finishing touches on my year end report. With a full 62 pages compiled, I all but put the stamp on it last night. Hurray! Now I get to spend three weeks writing a proposal to do it all again next year.

I must tell you that on Saturday I had a small um, let's call it an incident (sounds better than 'fit'). I got up, hit the shower and put my watch and rings back on. A couple of hours later I noticed I wasn't wearing my wedding rings. I figured I must not have put them back on, although I was sure I had because I was wearing my watch. I checked the shelf where I distinctly remembered putting them before my shower. Gone. OMG I've lost my wedding rings! Could they have fallen into the toilet? No, I was the only one home I would have noticed. I ran around the house in a panic trying to find my rings, checked the nightstand, the kitchen they were no where to be found. I was on the verge of having a complete meltdown, I figured these damn crazy pills had me so messed up I couldn't remember where I put them, as I sat wringing my hands I noticed that I had put them on the wrong hand. Doh! On a sane day I would have sat down to think about it and noticed it was on the wrong hand, on a Clomid day I go right from zero to crazy.

I am bracing myself for my Dr.'s appointment this morning. What is he thinking putting me in a waiting room with a bunch of pregnant people on Day 7. (the first day 7 I have ever had) We are going to talk about the result from my HSG and my bloodwork. I know he's just going to tell me that the drugs aren't working and that the HSG came back clear. As crazy as the pills make me, I am afraid he is going to take me off and tell me there is nothing more he can do. I had so much hope that I was pregnant just two weeks ago and I don't think I'm ready to give up the possibility of having a pregnancy. There have been times when I was ready to quit, and swore I would never take the pills again but that would have been my choice and not someone telling me that it isn't an option is so much different. It is like deciding that you need to loose some weight compared to having a someone tell you to loose a few pounds. It is a big difference.

I guess I don't want to admit to myself that I am just that broken. It feels like a personal failure although I am completely aware that I have no control over it.

Send me all your good vibes, I could use them today.

HAPPY CANADA DAY!

I was surprised at how few people had Canada on their list of places they would like to visit. Canada has so many great destinations and the fact that it is so large means we have a little bit of everything. I thought in honour of Canada Day I would try to convince some of my fellow travelers to add Canada, and in particular New Brunswick. So here are some of the things I love about New Brunswick.

 Our capital city, Fredericton – The City of Stately Elms, Noble Daughter of the Forest, is possibly the most beautiful city in Canada and probably one of the smallest. It is not even the biggest city in New Brunswick. Unfortunately we lost many of our stately elms to disease a number of years ago but the replacements are well on their way and there are still many beautiful old elms, many taller than the buildings around them.

 The beautiful Saint John River and the world renowned Miramichi River (rumour has it that more than one American celebrity own or visit fishing camps along the Miramichi.) I love that we are in a valley and crossing the Saint John River river every morning on my way to work. I also love the fact that my morning commute from the north side of Fredericton to downtown on the south side takes me all of 10 minutes in rush hour. Only 5 minutes when there is no traffic.

 Fredericton also has two terrific universities – UNB and St. Thomas University. UNB Law has consistently ranked as one of the best law schools in Canada. My American friends may be interested to know that both John F. Kennedy and Robert Kennedy received honourary degrees from the University of New Brunswick in 1957 and 1967. The two universities share the most beautiful campus overlooking the river with buildings in red brick. Although there were many days I cursed ‘the hill’ and wondered why they had to put the law school at the top.

 You can be in PEI, or Halifax in hours, you can go just about anywhere in Nova Scotia or Prince Edward Island in a day. Cape Breton is perhaps the most beautiful place in the world we went over for a wedding on one weekend and loved it so much we drove back and toured the Cabot Trail the next weekend. Every corner was breathtaking! Although Canknitian and I would have to warn that Meat Cove is only a ‘virtually bug free campground’ because it is on the end of the world and it was so windy and cold the bugs had the good sense to leave. Mind you that was only at night and I will never forget the sun rising out of the Atlantic Ocean. I have been in early September but I’d love to see it in the fall.

 While we don’t really have a metropolitan club scene there are hundreds of terrific pubs. A couple of favourites are The Snooty Fox, The Lunar Rogue, and Dolan’s Pub.

 Pubs brings me to music. You have to smile and tap your feet when you listen to Maritime music. Some of the better known would be Great Big Sea, the Rankin Family, Stompin’ Tom Connors, Sarah McLaughlin started as a Maritime artist from Halifax but I’m not sure when that changed. It seems like every week we have a different festival, there is the Harvest Jazz and Blues Festival, The Country Music Festival, The Highland Games and Scottish Festival, the NB Summer Music Festival, and that is just in Fredericton! The Highland Games is by far my favourite, say what you will about bagpipes but there are few things that feel more like home than good old Maritime Celtic music. (And I don’t care what you say there is something undeniably attractive about a manly men in a manly skirt!)

Here is a link to all the other great stuff going on in Fredericton this summer.

 I love that we are Canada’s only officially bilingual province. While I don’t speak any French, my in-laws are Francophone and so on many occasions you can hear my MIL and I having a conversation in two languages. Don’t let a lack of French stop you from visiting the Acadian Peninsula, the people there are very accommodating and an English speaking person can easily get by.

 I love being near the ocean. You can reach salt water in any directions but West. The Chaleur Bay to the north has many private beaches and by late July early August it is really great for swimming. On a calm day the water is so clear you can float along the top and watch the fish and crabs along the bottom and on other days you can spend hours riding the waves (thing wave pool not surfing). Along the East coast we have some great beaches at Kouchibouguac National Park or Parlee Beach Provincial Park which has the warmest salt water north of Virginia. To the South we have Fundy National Park on the Bay of Fundy which is has the world's highest tides. There are great little seaside towns and attractions all along the south shore, St. Andrews by the Sea is a favourite destination.

Did I mention the great place names like Kouchibouguac (KOOSH-e-boo-gwack)?

 If you are into seafood, you can either enjoy some of the fine cuisine at the Algonquin or you can cook up yourself. Personally I’m not a fan but I know people who have visited New Brunswick and left with cases of live lobster to fly it home with them.

 If you are the outdoorsy type there is a lot to explore by canoe, kayak, bike, walking trails. You can stay in the city and travel out on day trips or you can camp in the wilderness.

 We have fantastic farmer’s markets, lots of historical and cultural attractions, you can watch pottery being made or check out the Salvador Dali and Group of Seven paintings at the Beaverbrook Art Gallery. If you can’t get here to see them in person you can check out the collection on their website – very cool.

 Oh did I forget to mention to my fellow yarnaholics that we also have Briggs and Little Woolen Mill which is celebrating its 150th year and London-Wul Fiber Arts.

Have I convinced you to add New Brunswick to your list of travel destinations? Perhaps my fellow NBers could add their comments. Bring your knitting and we’ll share a drink on the deck!